Duck Season

Elmer Epstein ran to John Henry's desk with excitement.
"Ah...Mr. Henwy...I'm going to kill the wabbit!"
John looked up sulking and said, "Elmer, can't you wait until I've shot myself in the head. I find having half my head missing very relaxing when I talk to you. You should try it...really!"
Elmer laughed and said, "ha, ha, ha...gee Mr. Henwy, you never used to shoot yourself in the head before I got hired."
John leaned his eye upward and said, "and what does that tell you Elmer?"
"Ah...ha, ha, you don't support gun contwol!"
John sighed and said, "Elmer you really should consider blowing your head off. Might do you good. Now go hunting Elmer. Let me know when you get shot! I haven't had a party in a while!"
Elmer smiled and said, "if it makes you happy Mr. Henwy, I'll get shot twice!"
It was the first time that John had smiled in days.
(LATER)
"Be vewy quiet, I'm killing fwee agents...ha, ha, ha...it's wabbit season!"
Elmer snuck through the woods.
"I won't fail. I made won mistake with that scwey wabbit and I won't do it twice!"
Elmer looked and said, "oh hi Mr. Gwagme. How ya doing!"
"ahhh, a lot better since that sucker deal!"
Elmer walked on and then said, "hey...the Gwagme deal was bad too. But that's only two!"
Elmer trekked on.
"Oh hi Mr. Schilling!"
"One year of free pay! Thank you Mr. Elmer!"
Elmer walked on.
"Hey...that was a weally bad deal as well!"
Elmer walked on.
"Oh hi Mr. Jason!"
"It's KASON"
Elmer walked on and said, "hey why did we buy him bwack anyway!"
A walk forward for Elmer.
"Oh hi Mr. Gonsalez!"
"Go JAYS!"
Elmer walked on.
"Wow, that was a weally bad deal too. Hey...maybe I'm an idiot after all!"
Bugs Lugo walked at Elmer and said, "Ah...I didn't say it...but its TRUE
TO BE CONTINUED....