Bud Selig

Bud is such an easy target

Hello baseball fans, today we're sitting down with Bud Selig, the commissioner of Major League Baseball, hello Bud!"
"That reminds me, I really hate Bud Lite. That beer tastes awful. I only drink it during those stupid baseball games I have to sit through. Man who in their right mind would pay money for sitting around in the hot sun drinking beer and looking stupid."
" OK...ah...first question. Why wasn't Fenway Park chosen for the All Star game on their 100th anniversary?"
"Lady, we play baseball in stadiums, not outdoor parks."
"Fenway Park is in Boston and its a stadium."
"Then why don't we call it a stadium?"
"It's 100 years old.'
"Well, I certainly am not going to mess with an archeological dig if its 1000 years old."
"100"
"I'm not 100."
"Mr. Selig, why wasn't Fenway...stadium chosen for the All Star game celebrating the 100th anniversary of the...stadium."
"Hey did you see Avatar. It was great. I really loved that..."
"Mr. Selig, can you answer the question about Fenway...stadium."
"Look Kansas city made a lot of improvements and all and Fenway Park is ugly and that free plane ticket to Hawaii didn't hurt either...oh ya, I wasn't supposed to mention that. It might be considered a bribe. Cut that part out!"
"Mr. Selig, are you saying you're taking bribes!"
"Hey, I've been married for 20 years and I only have one bride!"
"That's BRIBE, not BRIDE!"
"Oh ya did you see the Bride of Frankenstein...that was a great movie."
A pause.
"OK, let's talk about steroids. "
"You take steroids!"
"Mr. Selig, I'm talking about the players who took steroids and will you please try to answer a question for once!"
"Players taking steroids. Does it help their performance? I hope it does because baseball is like watching paint dry. Can you see BORING!"
"Mr. Selig, you're the commisioner of baseball."
"Oh ya, no wonder I fall asleep at meetings. Can we talk about Avatar because that Michael babe was hot."
"Mr. Selig, how can you degrade women when a female reporter is standing right next to you."
"Are you saying you didn't like Avatar?"
"I am saying Mr. Selig that you come across as someone with an...unusual personality. Now how about maple bats. "
"What's this got to do with Avatar?"
"I'm talking about the bats that shatter when a ball hits them and can cause serious injury to the crowd."
"Oh ya, that's about the only excitement in the game. Kind of like in Avatar when the ..."
"Mr. Selig stop talking about Avatar OK. I want to talk about steroid use and Mr. Mark McGuire."
"That was great wasn't it! He broke the law, lied about it and the fans still love him. That man knows how to sucker a crowd!"
"Mr. Selig, you come across as a disgusting vial human being who seems to not only ignore but encourage bad behavior."
"If you're sitting on those miserable seats for two hours its nice to have excitement. What do you think about Michelle Rodriquez from Avatar singing the national anthem?"
"I think this interview is over."
"Hey was it something I said."
"Mr. Selig, you seem to only concern yourself with sexually degrading women, encouraging bad behavior and taking bribes. What have you got to say for yourself!"
"Well, I also liked Terminator as well but those sequels, you know Terminator III and Terminator IV were awful. I felt like I was watching a baseball game in Fenway Park. Ug!"
"Mr. Selig, how can you be so insulting!"
"Hey why are we doing this interview anyway! I'm already bored. Hey did you see Michelle Rodriquez in Avatar. She was..."
"Hot...I got it. Now have a nice day Mr. Selig and if you find yourself driving over a cliff, just know that we're all cheering you on!"
"Hey, that reminds me. Do you love Nascar. I sure love it when those cars...hello?"