2010 Overview

Hello, I'm Joe Derive. With the 2010 season looming, everybody was excited at another stellar job with Theo Epstein and the Red Sox.
After an incredible season of 2009, the Sox turned to Theo and Theo delivered in 2010. After dumping all star shortstop Alex Gonsalez who had a banner year, Theo wisely unloaded this waste of material in favor of Mark Scutaro who showed up right away why he was the better choice.

(in-game annoucement)

"The ball is grounded out to Scutaro who throws it away flying the ball way past Kevin Youkilis. This is the one-a-day affair of bad throws. Man he sucks. Where is Alex Gonsalez."

Clearly the showing of Mark Scutaro showed everyone in New England why Theo Epstein is the genius of Boston.
Now Theo wasn't done there. He realized that the Sox needed pitching and turned to a new ace in John Lackey who showed everyone why he is the best in the league.

(in game announcement)

"Line drive base hit. That'll score two more runs and the Sox are behind 9 - 0 thanks to another fruitless John Lackey effort who can't seem to find the strike zone, strike out a batter, or for that matter, throw to first base. Man he sucks."

Realizing that John Lackey needed some support in runs and hits, he turned to the battering ram of Mike Cameron. The 38 year old showed us all why he's the heart of the Red Sox order.

(in game announcement)

And Cameron is out again with a hernia and it looks like he's out for the season forcing the Red Sox to pick from their farm system. He's hardly played this season. Unbelievable. Another brilliant move by Boy Genius Theo Epstein. Man, can he pick em'.

The brilliance of Theo Epstein continued to flow like molasses sticking to the side of a hot road...errr...that doesn't make any sense. Anyway, the Terminator himself, Adrian Beltre showed us all why he's the best in the game."

(in game announcement)

"A high popup and, and, oh no. He crashed into Jacobe Ellsbury and Ellsbury is clearly in pain. Looks like he might have broken a rib. What was Beltre thinking? "

(in game announcement)

A high fly ball and...no, no...Beltre crashed into Hermida and now he's walking away in pain. That's after Beltre threw the ball away instead of just throwing to first base. What is this s-t? This guys a moron! Way to go boy Genius"

All efforts worked out exceedingly well and Theo Epstein shined with once again like having J.D. Drew out there showing us all why he's the best in the game.

(in game)

"It appears that Drew is out of the game...something about heat exhaustion...even though its 75 degrees out and cloudy. I understand he's also going on the D.L. because of a burn on his tongue from hot sauce...I mean...how do you pay this guy!"

All in all, the Red Sox were a tough team to beat. Unfortunately because of injuries and a curse setup by Julio Lugo on being left out of the team, the Sox faltered and decayed despite the great defense efforts of the entire team.

"Ground ball to Beckett and he...he throws it away. Can't anybody throw to first base. I though this was grammar school. I can't believe this.

Everybody looks forward again to next year as Theo already is talking about dumping garbage like Clay Buckhotz, who while honored as the best pitcher of the game, is not fit for the Red Sox. Then there are players like Dustin Pedroia and Kevin Youkilis who are clearly on their way out. Fortunately we have David Ortiz.

"Ground ball to second and a double play as David Ortiz once again hits to the shift and looks like a guy still trying to get a square peg into a round hole. The Sox only chance at a rally and Ortiz again blows it. What an idiot!

OK, I was paid a ton of money to do this so forgive...Joe Derive.