Mr. Forgetful

Hello and welcome to Red Sox baseball. I'm Kason Gabbard and here from the retirement community is Bill Gomes at the ripe old age of 98...hey Bill.
"Hel...lo....Mr....Jas...on."
"It's KASON!"
"O...K...here...is....Ka...son Ellsbury...to hit."
"It's Jacobe!"
"O...K.... Jacobe, ....Kason...Ellsbury hits a...fly......ball....to..."
"He's got a double and on second. "
"You...guys...don't...slow...down....do...you...Ellsbury!"
"I'm Kason...Jacobe is on second!"
"You...said...Ellsbury...was...on...second..."
"Who's on second?"
"Jacobe's on SECOND!"
"Oh...I...get it...who's on first!"
"Nobody's on first!"
"He's...our....short...stop...get...it"
"My stomach hurts!"
"O.K...here is David Ortiz Jason..."
"it's KASON!"
"Sorry...with...Kason...on...second...and Jason...hitting..."
"David is hitting and Jacobe is on SECOND!"
"O...K....Jac...is...it...time....for...dinnner...yet..."
"Did you see that home run!"
"No...I was...eating...my...dinnner....David!"
"I'm NOT David...David hit the home run!"
"OK...David...who...hit the...home...run?"
"David and I'm Kason."
"O.k...so Kason hit the home...run David...or are you...Jacobe!"
"It's KASON!"
"That's what...I...said!"
"Fine...move on!"
"Here is...Dusty...Pedroooooo...a....and he...is...the second...baseman...hmmm...that's...a...
"He hit a single to center field."
"I...did...not...know...he...was...not...married!"
"No, a single...ah never mind!"
"O...K...Dusty...Jas...sorry...Kason is on second."
"No...Dustin is on first."
"Who's on first?"
"Who is not on first, Dustin is on first."
"I...don't...know who is on first."
"What are we TALKING ABOUT"
"Abbott and Costello!"
"Who?"
"I love them...you know...who's...on...first!"
"Dustin is on FIRST!"
"I don't...know...third...base....always....makes...me...laugh...ah...where is the bath...room?"
"I don't know right now"
"He's on third...get it?"
"No, anyway, we missed the fact that J.D. Drew struck out since we were taking about who was on first but anyway, ah what does it matter. I got it. Here is Clark Kent! He took time off from being SUPERMAN"
"Why...are...you...hitting...your...head...with...a....hammer?"
"It feels better!"
"Clark...Kent...oh...I thought it...was...Batman!"
"No...Bruce Wayne is BATMAN!"
"Bruce...he's....gay!"
"I givc UP...GOOD LUCK"
(Jason walks out)
"O...K....now....let's talk....about....regulari...ty...