Cookie nightmare for the Red Sox

John Henry was unusually stoic when Theo Epstein walked in on the meeting. It was 10:00 am in the morning.
"Something wrong John?"
John nodded saying nothing. Theo could only feel the cold of the room.
"Theo, I have a problem..."
"Look, it's a minor injury to Dice-K..."
"No, it's not that, " snapped John. "I have a problem..."
Theo paused then nodded starring at the floor.
"Look John, they have medication...."
"Theo...", said John before returning to his chair. "I have a cookie problem."
Theo looked up gritting his teeth and forced a smile.
"But John, "said Theo in an angry tone, "I have twenty cases myself..."
"It's the girl scouts Theo. I had no idea that my troop couldn't sell 40 cases...now all you have to do is talk to Tito."
Theo gritted a smile.
"That's a lot of girl scout cookies. "
John leaned down and said, "do the words Eric Gagne come to mind, or perhaps Julio Lugo might ring the right tone!"

(LATER)
"Tito, I have a problem."
Tito invited Theo to sit down.
Theo sighed.
"Look Theo, they have medication..."
"No, no, "snapped Theo. He waved his hand in the air.
"Tito, I have 60 cases of girl scout cookies to sell."
Tito nodded in his usual stoic fashion before hitting his head on the desk.
"That's nice Theo so what's the problem."
Theo leaned forward and said, "remember last year's playoffs?"
"Are you blaming me for that!" snapped Tito in anger.
"NO, but I am saying that this would be good morale for the club...to buy 60 cases of girl scout cookies at a mere $3.50 a box!"
Tito nodded and said, "that's 12 boxes per case. 12 * 80..."
"Is a lot of cookies."
"Is a lot of cookies!"
The two paused.
"Fine...but I have my own girl scout cookie problems..."
"Integrate Tito!"

(LATER)
Tim Wakefield walked into the office of Tito.
"What's up Tito?"
Tim sat down.
"Tim, we have a problem and as a team player you're my solution."
Tim leaned down and sagged into the chair.
"Hey...I was hoping to get a shot at the 5th spot."
"No, no, no, "snapped Tito. "Listen Tim. You've always been straight with me and I'll be with you. I have 100 cases of girl scout cookies to sell and I'm sure you'll pitch in."
Tim sighed.
"Tito...I have some to sell too!"
"Tim..."
"Tito..."
"Team..."
"Tito..."

(LATER)
Tim Wakefield sat on the bench after a shower. David Ortiz sat down.
"Hey the man..."
"David, can I ask you a favor!"
"Of course my friend. You are always the good man."
"Ya, said Tim...listen David...have you ever sold girl scout cookies before?"

(LATER)
David Ortiz swung the bat and snapped the ball over the fence.
"Man, said Jacobe, you have a swing. I'd love to learn that swing."
"You can..."
"You'd said you've never show me.."
David leaned forward and said, "for 450 cases of girl scout cookies it's yours."

(LATER)
Jacobe stretched his back and saw Dice-K coming through.
"Hey Dice-K"
Dice-K paused. He looked forward.
"What you want?"
"Nothing."
"In the four years here you never talk to me...not once and now we're friends. What do you want?"
"Well, you see..."
"What?"
"What do the number 700...as in cases... and girl scout fund raisers have in common?"
"What???"

(LATER)
"Jonathan...I have the secret to your slider and it's yours for 700 cases of girl scout cookies."