Tid Bits from Joe Derive

Tidbits

Ya wanna know what's nice about Florida? Its when you deal with a bunch of inflated egos and insecurity complexes, its nice to sit in the sun and sip a smoothie because its the only way I can cope. Believe it or not, reporting sports is utterly insane. I mean it. Take Bobby Jenks and Ozzie Guillen. I mean, did these two graduate from gorilla school?

Here's how it started. Bobby decides to complain about Ozzie as a manager. Then Ozzie decides to trash Bobby as if he's the worst human being on the planet. What a few comments about the bullpen have anything to do with popularity of a player is beyond me but I'm not drilling holes in my head to figure it out. Ozzie, be quiet and act like a manager. Bobby, be quiet and act like a grownup.

Now that's not all. Dice-K, who's always good for putting 'be stupid' on his todo list, decides he needed to 'work' on some stuff and that's why he played the game so badly. Can you see Dice-K as a surgeon?

“I'm sorry mam. I wanted to perform the bypass, but I had to work on my stitching technique which is why your husband have fifteen deep surgical scars all over his body. Fortunately I was pleased with my stitching technique. “

Well, thankfully Dice-K isn't a surgeon. Here's some info for ya Dice-K. Stop the B.S.!

In other news, Josh Beckett got struck in the head with a baseball. I would suggest next time a bazooka get used for tossing balls around. I'd love to see Ino Guerrero and some of his home improvement projects.

“Hey I just thought that a flame thrower would be quicker to take down the old deck instead of dismantling it. How as I supposed to know it would burn down the entire block of homes!”

Here's a hint. Think!

On other news, Dustin Pedroia went snacking at the snack bar ordering hot dogs. Hey Dustin, do you honestly think this is the healthy way to start of a good day? You do know there is hardly any real food in that. Can you see Dustin as a nutritionist.

“Well, ya Kit-Kat's would be OK and ya I love those McDonald's hot apple pies and let's not forget donuts. Oh the cream filled are awesome...what you have a heart condition. I wouldn't worry about it. “

Well Dustin, good luck there!

Finally Manny Ramirez and Johnny Damon on one team. Man I almost feel bad for Maddon. When two big egos go under one roof – you're the loser!

I'm Joe Derive and see you next time.