J.D. Drew

J.D. Drew, the guy who designed the stunts for Spiderman, Alone in the Dark talks about how he took his injury free approach to Broadway.

Hi I'm Joe Derive back with more interviews. Today is J.D. Drew who broke the baseball record by managing to get injured before opening day. I asked him what he did over the winter besides increasing everybody's health care costs. Of course I had to do it while interviewing him from a plastic bubble. More about that later.

“Oh mostly worked on Spiderman, Alone in the Dark. It's a lot of work but everyone was excited with my ideas. I never studied physics or nothin but I figured it would just be OK. Man, was I ever wrong. “

Ya well, at least it helped me understand why everyone was getting hurt.

“Listen, JD. I was wondering why you're talking to me from a plastic bubble?”

Drew seemed to laugh a little and I couldn't wait for an answer to this one.

“Aw, its just injury prevention. For some reason everyone thinks I get hurt all the time which is just not true. I mean all the docs know it and I know that because I'm always with one of them since I get injured all the time. ”

I had to roll my eyes at that statement.

“So you...are you eating with your hands?”

“Ya, “ said J.D. “I don't get forks or knives anymore since I get injured by them.”

I had to wonder if J.D. Was running on empty here. I mean really. No forks or knives. How can anyone get hurt with a fork.

“Ya see, I tried to eat my steak but drove the fork through my hand instead. That really hurt. “

I'm sure Blue Cross must love you J.D.

“The worst though is money. I get too many papercuts. Actually they never let me have any paper. Why one time I got fifteen paper cuts working on a crossword puzzle and don't get me started on the pencil. They really hurt stuck in your ear. “

I decided not to have any more questions for Drew. I'm sure the happy doctors could take care of that one but of course I couldn't help myself.

“How can you play baseball anyway if you can't even hold a bat?”

Drew seemed to stammer on that one. He then said, “oh they're giving me a foam bat for batting practice. They're a bit tired of me and the maple bat. I mean I had no idea what happens when you let go of the bat. Boy that concussion on Julio Lugo must have really hurt him. “

Lugo? Well, now I understand why Lugo's doing a radio show now.

“The worst though is sleeping. I pulled my hamstring muscles again when I fell out of the bed. Then I tried a sleeping bag and almost hung myself and then I tried a cup of coffee and got third degree burns on my back. Now they have me eat cold cream of wheat. That seems to work out. “

“So J.D. , what did you learn in working with such a huge program such as this.”

“Hmm, I think the main thing is that you really should have a good working relationship with a variety of medical people from doctors to psychologists. They can come in real handy. “

“J.D., how do you feel about getting an injury the first day of spring camp.”

“One word – utter shock. I'm told its never been done before and all but its kind of frustrating because had I known I could still be in New York directing the stunts for this musical. They're are always more bodies you know. “

“Didn't they fire you?”

“Three or four times but I keep forgetting. I don't have a great memory. Anyway. I mean how many chances do you get to watch a man break his clavicle over a fall. That was pretty cool and I think it adds some drama to the production.”

Ya, well, glad Drew is retiring this year.

“Oh they won't let me watch TV. I keep dropping it on my foot and don't get me started on the remote. Those things hurt when they land directly on your head after falling from the ceiling. “

I had to admit I was starting to lose my mind.

“The worst though is the fact that they gave me slip on shoes. I can't have laces anymore. Last time I tried them I almost hung myself. “

How, how do you hang yourself with shoe laces. Drew is a nutcase, a fruitcake, a boiled potato. I mean the guy is crazy.

“Anyway, I gotta get some sleep. Ow, stupid plastic bowl. I think it broke my foot. ”

Drew then laid down on the floor and closed his eyes. I felt better. I didn't have to talk to him anymore.

Next time we catch up with Manny Ramirez and look for Julio Lugo.