Red Sox Convention

(A meeting at the 2010 Red Sox Convention)
"Hey Bill!"
"Hey Fred."
"Hey Fred, did you get that trivia answer..."
"Oh ya, It was Doug Griffen that drove in the run..."
"Ah...sorry it was Jim Rice."
"Ah crap!"
"On top of that I was there when the truck went down to Florida...where were you!"

"Ah..excuse me and welcome to the 40th annual Red Sox convention."

(loud cheers and applause)

"Today we have something really special. We have the 1975 Red Sox playbook signed by a fan who used it for scrap paper and its only $40.00. Any offers?"

"Ya, I'll take it"

The crowd cheers. Bill was obviously jealous of Fred.

"OK, now we have a really special guest with us today. Let's all give a hand for the forgiven and beloved Bill Buckner!"
The crowd cheers and chants. Bill walks on stage looking confused and forlorn.

"Ah...OK, ya, well hey...Red Sox...is that my shirt?"
"Ya, said Bill. "I bought it off of Ebay last year. What a steal at $240.00."
"But, "snapped Bill. "I threw it in the garbage after my dog...ah...never mind."
Bill smiled meekly at the audience.
"Anyway, ah...welcome...ah...ya!"
"Hey Mr. Buckner. I just wanted to say that my grandfather called you a (censored) for losing the game and then died two days later but I wanted you to know that I forgive you!"
Bill's jaw fell half a meter before he recovered it.
"Ya, that's...great...ya..I'm...touched."
"Mr. Buckner, "cheered Fred.
"Ya, you in the...what are you wearing?"
"Oh ya, the underwear from Dwight Evans after he hit that homer against the Baltmore Orioles in 1975 on September 7th...at 9:30 pm....Eastern Standard Time. He was facing..."
"OK...I got the point and I really don't want to know how you got that either."
"OK, said Fred. "Anyhow, I was wondering that game against Cleveland..."
' "Ah...what game against Cleveland?"
"You know in 1986 when..."
''Ah...that was a long time ago..."
Bill paused.
"Ya but I just bet my house and if I lose this house I lose the bet so I can't let that happen."
"Wait, "snapped Bill. "You bet your house on my memory of a game that's over 20 years ago...I mean...are you nuts?"
"See that's what my friend said that you wouldn't remember and I forgave you for losing 1986 and put in an obstacle course in my back yard just in case you came by and wanted to work on stuff."
"OK...", snapped Bill. "Listen I've attended quite a few of these conventions and really listened to you fans and not that I'm not grateful but...GET A LIFE!"
A shocked whirled around the audience.
"I mean its just a kids game with a bunch of guys trying to get through a day. I mean when I retired I lived. I didn't just focus on past baseball games. That's nuts!"
A person raised his hand.
"Are you saying we should focus on today's baseball instead."
"No that's not what I'm saying at all. Gee you people, you live in your parent's basements and debate this stuff and steal my underwear and shirts and...
"That was Dwight Evan's underwear."
"Whatever...when I left the Red Sox I lived. I had a life. I kissed girls and got married...ah...excuse me the manager wants to talk to me.."
A pause as a disgruntled crowd stews. Bill shouts out "contract" and that's all that's heard.
He humbling walks back on stage.
"Ah...that of course was a reinactment of my rant after losing the World Series in 1986...in..."
"September" the manager snapped.
"Ya well welcome and I'm sure I can answer all your...questions...and go...Sox!"