Ben Cherington

Ben walked slowly into Larry Lucchiono's office and was greeted with a warm but somewhat hesitant smile. Actually Ben noticed the smile was almost strained but he ignored his obvious misperceptions and sat down in a seat that appeared to be about three inches off the floor. As he sat in the chair he noticed it was solid wood and was several sizes to small for him.

"Ben, so glad you could come in. Great job you're doing, great job!"

"Thank you sir. I just had an idea about Right field..."

"Wait...you didn't...act upon it...did you?"

"No sir!"

Larry seemed to sigh in relief and sit down on a warm and soft leather chair.

"So Arnie tells me you're doing well in his kitchen."

"Yes sir. I just want you to know that I paid for all the damage from the accidental explosion from the gas leak when I damaged the pipe and then lit a match...whew glad I wasn't hurt. "

"Ya well Arnie just wanted you to know that his restaurant will be reopening in a secret location that's too secret for you to find it...and don't...please."

The volume of Larry's words went off to a high audible level with 'please' but Ben ignored it mainly because he could barely hear it.

"So...what other ideas do you have?"

"Sir, I was thinking that considering J,D, Drew's outstanding performance with the Sox you know that we could sign him again for right field. Also, Julio Lugo has expressed interest in returning and taking over as a starting pitcher or bullpen relief. I ran them by Arnie and he said something about my medications."

"Right, "snorted Larry who then reached for a drink and gulped it down.

"Wow, I've never seen anyone drink 140 proof that fast Larry. "

"Ya well, you're an inspiration to me Ben!"

Ben smiled realizing how happy he could make Larry in a day.

"I also understand you were working with this man named Greg on early Church history..."

"Ya well that didn't work out. He doesn't really know his history Larry. I mean the man thinks there are Ten Commandments. Can you believe that guy? We have fifteen commandments and I know it because I read them! Now we argued for over fifteen minutes before we both decided it was best I find other...what did he say...ah...avenues of employment that don't involve actual thinking. "

Ben heard a hard thumping sound and looked up to see Larry strike his head against the desk. He wondered what got into Larry.

"Is something wrong sir?"

"No nothing, "said Larry. "This is just therapy for me."

Larry then smiled and sat upright.

"So you also worked for this guy named Dave on computer programming?"

"Ya, 'said Ben. "But I tell you all his computers were a mess. I straightened them out. Now Dave didn't see it that way. For fifteen minutes he kept saying something about 'thank goodness for backups." Man what a strange day. He's really sensitive you know."

Ben sighed and then saw Larry gulp down more 140 proof.

"SO then you worked for someone named Craig."

"Ya, I borrowed some money from him and invested it in the Las Vegas casinos. I told him that it would be a great, great investment. Tell me Larry. what's a foreclosure because Craig said I gave him one. He wasn't very happy."

Larry just turned into stone at this moment.

"So then you worked for Andrew, a lawyer."

"Ya, did you know Lawyers can get sued too because Andrew has a ton of lawsuits and they all involve cases I managed. What a coincidence? Needless to say Andrew said he no longer had need for the position I filled...or actually his office, his home, his car. Wow that man fell on hard times."

Ben then leaned back in his chair.

"Then I worked for Ellen's husband at the bank Larry. Whew, glad I worked there because that bank said it was doing well but I tell you when I worked for three days somehow..."

"The bank went out of business?"

"Ya, I mean we got one burglary and the burglars looked at me and then left saying something about it wasn't worth robbing a bank where Ben Cherington is in charge. Strange!"

"So then you worked for Garry?"

"Ya, Garry kept giving me this baseball advise that made no sense."

"Can't imagine why, "said Larry.

"Bunting, baserunning, conditioning, etc. Whew...totally lost me on bunting. What's a bunt?"

Larry then smiled and looked around at the window.

"So, John Henry really...likes you????"

"Yup, he says I'm the shining image of Theo Epstein!"

"Ya, I can see that. OK Ben well have a nice day. "

"You too Larry. Great working with you!"

Ben strolled out then paused at the door.

"Larry, I was thinking about Tim Wakefield at third base and trading Youk for a player to be named later..."

"Ben have you been taking your medications?"

THE END.