Anybody have a bucket???

Hi, I'm Joe Derive.  Just some...random thoughts here.

Cody Ross says Sox have problems winning at home:

(translation)
Sox do just fine with teams that can't hit and pitch and field and so far the pickings are slim with just the Twins (worst team in baseball) that can qualify as bad enough for the Sox to win against. 

Bobby Valentine says Sox are doing well despite his mistakes.

(translation)
Bobby is wondering how long it will be before he gets out of this nightmare and can go back to the broadcast booth where he can blabber about how bad the managers are without having to actually back that up with actual data.   He seems more comfortable with that.

Bobby Valentine says Gonsalez is tired and that's why he's not hitting well.

(translation)
He's trying to find an excuse to explain how a $143 million dollar superstar can play like a AAA player.  So far this is the best that he's got but he's working on better delusional statements.  Give him time.  He's rusty.

Salty is doing just fine as a catcher.

(translation)
Bobby hasn't said it but I'm sure he realizes that Salty is yet another selection from the Theo Epstein School of Madness.  What's even worse is he isn't getting injured.  That would give us the excuse to get Laraway up to the majors. He can't be any worse than Shoppach who can't hit a ball if its on a tee.

Carl Crawford is going to play again

(translation)
First he lied about his wrist then he got a ligament injury.  Carl of course will play again after his contract expires, until then this is yet another reason why Scott Boras is so good at his job and Theo Epstein is not.  Scott could sell flood insurance in the Saudi Arabian desert and Theo would come back for seconds.

This is one solid outfield

(translation)
This outfield would be just great for a Saturday afternoon Softball game.  So far they can't field, they can't hit consistently and they are streaky.  (That just means they are AAA talent by the way).  No worries though, I'm sure Ben Cherington will keep em' coming for the fans to delight in even though the pitching staff squirms at any ball hit into the outfield wondering what Indiana Jones adventure awaits. 

 Bailey will be back

(translation)
Looks like the A's are really enjoying a healthy Josh Reddick who's hitting and fielding like the star he is.  He gets clutch hits and plays the right field hard.  Bailey is playing the DL hard watching reruns of the Golden Girls.  He's a big Betty White fan. 

I'm Joe Derive.