Cookie Season for Girl Stouts

You know when you have the right material, comedy is easy and being the new cookie coordinator for my troop this year gave me a lot of material.

Tim Wakefield sat at his desk at home. A long season and how girl scout cookies were upon him. Tim was just that guy because he's Tim Wakefield. All around good guy.
Tim picked up the manual and then found the cookie tools provided. A short video played.

"Hi, welcome cookie coordinator. We hope you're enjoying your complementary box of cookies. What a great reward for the minor 50 + hours of work you'll be doing.
Your task in getting your scouts to sell cookies will decide if your troop succeeds or ends up in the basement of lamentations that will forever tarnish you and your troop. Sounds bad doesn't it!"

Tim nodded feeling panic hit his heart.

"Now we're not panicking are we? We're here to ensure you succeed with arm twisting marketing tools, on line guilt trips, as well as the techniques of pressure sales and aggressive advertising. Believe me you'll need it since you're footing the bill for any unsold cookies. "

"Gee, " said Tim. "They sure come on...strong don't they."

"You're first step of course is a motivational meeting with your troop. Remind them that with the mere sale of 10,000 boxes, your troop will earn not only self esteem but a free pencil with included eraser. With 20,000 boxes they'll earn a free 8-track player so that your troop can learn the history of audio and with the sale of 30,000 cookies you'll get a free David Cassidy tape to play in your player. But, if you sell 1.2 billion boxes of cookies you're troop with get their own Sony DVD player. Are you feeling motivated or what."

Tim nodded wondering how in the world he can sell 1.2 billion boxes of cookies by March."

"You're probably wondering how you can sell 1.2 billion boxes of cookies by March. "

Tim nodded and said, "boy you guys are in tune to my needs."

"Well, the only way to sell the cookies is of course to do nothing but sell cookies but there are techniques you should know about. For example. many people with heart conditions and high cholesterol will have concerns but don't let that deter you. As long as they are properly insured you have nothing to worry about and who can resist cookies with a mere 120 calories from fat per cookie. Mmmm I'm feeling my arteries clog already with sales excitement."

Tim felt his mind wonder to the reset button on the computer.

"But don't hit that reset button! At the first meeting you'll learn techniques to let your troop feel the pressure but in a very positive way. So order that 1.2 billion boxes of cookies and go selling!"

Tim sat back and picked up the phone.

"Hell0, psychiatric hospital. Do you have any openings."