Red Sox Commercial

Julio Lugo
"OK, Fruit Of the Loom commercial, Take 1. Go on Julio Lugo."
Lugo walks on the set tripping over the light smashing it to the ground.
"OK, ah...step towards the camera."
Lugo walks into the camera and sends it to the ground.
"OK, back away from the camera Lugo."
Lugo backs off and trips over some wires sending two more lights to the ground.
"OK Lugo, why don't we take a break."
Jason Varitek
"OK Fruit of the Loom commercial, Take 2. Go on Jason."
"OK, when considering underwear, first consider the forces of nature that create the raw material of cotton. Cotton itself requires a staggering amount of labor and resources to generate a plant. Cotton itself is a raw material that is composed of..."
"OK Dr. Jason, why don't we take a break here."
Manny Ramirez
"OK Fruit of the Loom commercial, Take 3. Go on Manny."
"OK do you have a hard on. I have one now the size of a telephone pole. Ah, Ah! Every time I think of money I get it so let me show you how hard it is!"
"OK....let's take a break here FREAK!"
Jason Bay
"OK, Fruit of the loom Commercial...Take 4. Go on...Jason...Jason?"
"Sorry guys, I need more money. I mean, I have to explore my options. I need payment for the underwear, a car, sunroof, and let's not forget travel expenses and..."
"OK, let's take a break here...AGAIN."
Mike Lowell
"OK, Fruit of the Loom Commercial...Take 5. Mike Lowell."
"Ow!"
"Mike WATCH OUT FOR THAT CRANE!"
Mike falls on the ground after the crane accidentally breaks three ribs.
"Sure, nothing. I can...take it."
Mike leans towards the camera when a light falls on his shoulder dislocating it. "
"Dammit...grrr....if you want...crap...ah..."
"Mike what are you doing? That's a LIVE WIRE! Don't TOUCH IT!"
When Mike tried to get up as a live wire burned his clothes off his body!
"I...can...TAKE IT....I'm...AHHH...Fruit...underwear...AHHHH"
"Call the paramedics. No MIKE...THE MOUSE TRAPS!!!!"
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHH"
Clay Buckhotz
"OK, Fruit of the loom. Take...ah...whatever"
"OK...why didn't I get picked first! I'm good too! Why am I a second fiddle! I mean...I'm tired of this crap!"
"I just want to do a stupid commercial about underwear...NEXT!"
J.D. Drew
"OK Fruit of the Loom commercial...take 8. OK Drew."
"OW...damn paper cut...sorry."
"It's OK. Take your time."
"Man, these shoes are too tight. I think I broke my foot."
"Ah..."
"Oh crap, this underwear is too tight. I cracked my hip. I can't walk. Ow...my tooth hurts. Ow..my nose hurts. The hairs are too tight. Ow my jaw hurts from talking."
"OK...OUT!"
Jacobe Ellsbury
"OK Fruit of the Loom Underwear...take 9. OK Jacobe."
"Normally, I'd be glad to do a commercial for underwear. I consider myself a nice guy and all but face it dudes. My agent is Scott Boras and that means an attitude change. All I can say is #$#$ you. frankly...show me the..."
"OK, GET OUT"
Tim Wakefield
"So buy fruit of the Loom underwear at a local store near you. Is that OK?"
"OK...it was fantastic. Thank you Tim."
"Sure but I honestly think you guys paid me too much money..."