Get Smart -- Off the Mark

Agent Ben Cherington and Chief John Henry meet in a secret location to discuss the future!!!!

Ben: Sorry I'm late chief but I got stuck in traffic.  Some IDIOT went the wrong way on a one-way street.

John: That's terrible Ben.

Ben: You're telling me Chief.  I got a $500 dollar ticket for a simple mistake!

John: Ben, I'm going to hate myself for this but how could you get a $500 dollar ticket for going down a one way street?

Ben:Well there is the matter of smashing up a police car!

John [Rolling his eyes and grabbing a drink]

Ben: Boy Chief, I don't remember you ever drinking that before!

John: [boiling mad] I met you!

Ben: Now calm down Chief.  Look at all the great trades and purchases I made this year.

Ben: OK well look at the signing of some old-time players and it was ME that signed up Carl Crawford.  That alone should tell you something!

Ben:Ah...well anyway Chief the point is...

John [gulping glass] : The point is that we are total FOOLS!  To think this is our off-season 'secret' headquarters!

Ben: Well it wasn't my idea.  I can't help it if the entire organization is starving for money.  I did my part.  I got you players like Dice-K, John Lackey, Bobby Jenks and...

John: Ben why in the world do I keep you around and for goodness sake...TAKE OFF THE GORILLA SUIT!!!!!!!!!!

Ben: Sorry Chief.  What did you say?  It's hard to hear you inside this gorilla suit!

Ben: That better Chief?

John: I think I liked it better in your gorilla suit.  Ben...why are you talking into you shoe?

Ben: Because I lost my cell phone!

John: HOW did you lose your cellphone?

Ben: I dropped it on the ground and then ran over it with my car.

John: First why didn't you put it in your pocket and second...how could you run over your cellphone with the car?

Ben: First Chief, I had no pockets in my gorilla suit and second, I couldn't see it on the ground from this gorilla suit John.  Boy with stupid questions like that how did you become the Chief of Red Sox operations...tell me that....HOW!

John: I OWN the organization!

Ben: Well that makes sense.  When did you buy it?

John: Ben...go to the Multiple Operations and Redundancy Organizational Network computer and START getting some players!!!!

Ben: Oh you mean the M.O.R.O.N computer.

John: I prefer not calling it that.  It just reminds me of you.

Ben: Oh well thank you Chief.  I always thought of myself as a MORON.

John: Well just be reassured that everyone at the Red Sox feels the same way Ben.

Ben: That's why you hired me John and I'm under contract so you can't fire me can you!

John: Excuse me Ben, I need a drink.

Ben: Well anyway Chief, I'm off to be a MORON.  Hey who designed that computer anyway?

John: Some top-secret organization.  I have no idea myself but it's supposed to be the best.  It's ACME Corporation but that's all I know. I do know that the MORON computer ran some great companies.

Ben: What companies Chief?

John: Those companies that used it went out of business before I found out.

Ben:OK Chief...have a good day.

John:Oh Ben...next time...wear a diaper in the gorilla suit!

Ben: Right chief...sorry about the mess.

MEANWHILE

Bugs Bunny: Ya I wonder who did design the MORON computer for the Red Sox.  Ain't I a stinker!