Are You Smarter Than Julio Lugo

Jeff Foxworthy: Hi and welcome to a special edition of 'Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader.  Today we're asking -- Are You Smarter Than Julio Lugo'  Julio Lugo played shortstop for the Boston Red Sox and proved so inept...er...interesting that he found his way to the Orioles.

Julio Lugo: They fired me too.

Jeff F. : Today we have as our first contestant -- Bobby Jenks!

Bobby: DOUBLE FIST:

Jeff F: Bobby played for the Red Sox -- well he was disabled for the Red Sox for two years and ended his career by crashing into cars after getting sloshed as an adult entertainment establishment.  Well anyway, an easy question to start for $100 dollars.  'How many feet are in a mile'


Bobby: Ah...ah...ah...I'd like to use a cheat and ask Julio Lugo

Jeff F: Seriously?

Bobby: Hey I use the cubit system when I measure things. 

Jeff F: OK...Julio!

Julio: Ah...10 hundred meters.

Bobby: I'll go with that!

Jeff F: OK...the answer is 5280 feet.  Just a bit off but don't worry Bobby that was a hard one...I guess.  This question is for $10 dollars.

Bobby: Why so little?

Jeff F: We're lowering our standards.

Julio:  Hey me smarterer!

Bobby: OK for $10.00

Jeff: What month has 29 days in it!

Bobby: All of them...

Jeff: You know I think our next episode will ask 'Are you dumber than Bobby Jenks!'

Bobby: DOUBLE FIST

Jeff: Right...OK the answer is February.  You should have asked Julio!

Julio:  Not really...I thought it was the month of Saturday.

Jeff: OK...this question you guys couldn't possibly fail at for $1.00.  Bobby which has more alcohol -- beer or Whiskey?

Bobby: Wow...that really depends on how much you drink.  Whiskey has a proof of 80 which means it has 40% alcohol however their are...

Jeff: Just answer the damn question!

Bobby: OK...Whiskey.

Jeff: You got it for $1.00

Bobby: DOUBLE FIST, DOUBLE FIST...

Jeff:  Now Bobby...you can keep that one dollar -- highly recommended -- or try for $10.00 for the next question but I have to warn you -- it has nothing with self-destructive behavior such as drinking, gambling, crashing into cars while drunk, etc.

Bobby: Whew...that's a tough one Jeff...but I'll risk it!!!!

Jeff: You're funeral.  OK for $10.00, its the letter between 'V' and 'X'.  THINK about it and take your time.

Julio:  'A' Bobby...it's 'A'

Bobby: A...ya V A X...wait!  That don't sound right.  Ah...'B'

Jeff: Wow...how in hell did you manage to pitch for the major leagues?

Bobby: Don't need brains just talent!

Jeff:  Like I said, how in hell did you pitch for the major leagues?

Bobby: So I get $10.00

Jeff:  Tell you what Bobby...let's say your answer was incredibly wrong...in an almost pathetic way.  Would you trade in your $10.00 for a $20.00 question.

Bobby: YA...whatever you said.  Don't use all those big words...DOUBLEFIST!!!!

Jeff: OK...this is easy.  It's the number after FOUR.  Got it...name the number after FOUR!

Bobby: Ya...that's easy because I know after 4 bottles of Whiskey I'm ready for Burbin so that means ONE!

Jeff: OK...well thank you for joining us today on 'Are You Smarter Than Julio Lugo' and join us tomorrow for 'Are you a Total Moron Like Bobby Jenks'

Bobby: Did I win?

Jeff: Here's $10.00.  Go buy yourself...

Bobby: DOUBLE FIST!

Julio Lugo: Hey can I go now!

Bobby: DOUBLE FIST

Jeff: I quit.