Arnie teaches Lugo geography

Arnie:
OK Julio.  How about some geography?

Lugo:
OK.

Arnie:
Great, look on this map and find a country!

Lugo:
AFRICA!

Arnie (rubbing eyes)
That's a continent.

Lugo:
Oh ya, I meant CONTINENT!

 Arnie:
No...FIND a country...you might live in one!

Lugo:
Ah...oh ya...Atlantic ocean.

Arnie:
Lugo...never mind.  OK find a country!

Lugo:
OK...Atlantic ocean!

Arnie:
NO...United States, France, India...get it?

Lugo:
ah...not really!

Arnie:
OK...find an ocean...that should be easy.  REMEMBER, it HAS to have the word 'OCEAN' in it.

Lugo:
Stop yelling will you!  OK..Artic circle?

Arnie;
IT HAS TO HAVE O-C-E-A-N in it...GET IT!

Lugo:
right!  Africa!

Arnie:
NO OCEAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lugo:
Oh I get it.  Gee sorry Arnie...ah...Lake Ontario.

Arnie:
Great...just great Lugo.  You don't know what a country is and despite the fact you have the word 'OCEAN' in it you find a LAKE.

(Arnie pauses and gulps some beer)

Arnie:
OK find a city...like the one you played in!

Lugo:
Oh man...Atlantic ocean?

Arnie (screaming)
ARE YOU INSANE!  You played for the Red Sox...you know the BLANK Red Sox.

Lugo:
Oh you can swear Arnie.  You don't need to use the word BLANK.

Arnie (Kicking chair)
BOSTON, you played in BOSTON!

Lugo:
But that's a country right?

Arnie:
Ya...a country.  Sure, got it.  OK country.

Lugo:
Doing good.

Arnie:
Goodness, find a mountain.  You know like the name of the mountain thats' the tallest in the world?

Lugo:
Ah...Rio.

Arnie strikes head against table.

Arnie:
How...how is Rio a MOUNTAIN.  It has to have the name of the mountain IN IT!

Lugo:
Man you got a temper Arnie.  Sickening.  OK, so no...ah...ATLANTIC Moutain!

Arnie:
Sure...fine...got for it.

Arnie:
Now we find a river.  Help me.

Lugo:
Oh ya like...Africa?

Arnie (long pause)
How...how is a large piece of land...a river?  How?

Lugo:
I wondered that too since it doesn't have the word River in it.  What's a river?

Arnie (mumbling -- nobody can be this dumb)
OK...find a RIVER, A RIVER...damn why do I keep tutoring you!

Lugo:
Because...I pay you $200 a session?

Arnie:
It's NOT ENOUGH...Ok find a river!

Lugo:
Got it...Lake Michigan!

Arnie:
HOW...How do you do this. I'm gonna cry, go insane...I can't TAKE IT.

Lugo:
What's wrong with Lake Michican...oh ya its a lake.  Got it.

Arnie:
Lugo...that was such a beautiful moment.  Good job!

Lugo:
Oh ya...Like Huron.  That's a river.

Arnie:
Ya, RiverLake...sure...excuse me.  I have to kill myself.

Lugo:
OH but hurry back.

Arnie:
HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!