Valentine Talks

Hi, I'm Joe Derive and today I got to talk to Bobby Valentine after his departure.  He's been pretty quiet so far but...

BOBBY: Hey Joe.  Great to be here. 

JOE [pausing]: Sorry...its just you haven't said anything crazy...ah...er...anyway, how are you doing?

BOBBY: Fine now that it's over I can look back and deal with the pain.  It's better now.

JOE: What would you say is the worst moment for you?

BOBBY: David Ortiz.  After he learned the post season was over he gave up and killed the team. I guess its in his nature to destroy the hearts of every New England fan.

JOE:You just can't help yourself can you Bobby?

BOBBY:No, I prefer it this way...speak my mind with the right facts like the fact that the Middlebrook incident...never happened.

JOE:But you said it did.  You admitted to it!

BOBBY: Oh that was my twin brother Brobby.  He gets me in trouble all the time.

JOE:Oh...so it was 'BROBBY' that did the Middlebrooks incident.

BROBBY: Hi Joe.  I'm Brobby.  Yes...and even though I look like Bobby you can tell us apart by what we say.  Brobby says insane things and BOBBY says sane things.

JOE:So how can I tell you both apart?

BOBBY:Look Joe.  Look at it this way.  BROBBY and BRORRY are two parts of many in a honed machine of greatness that was undermined by the Red Sox organization.

JOE:So we have Bobby,Brobby and Brorry...anyone else?

BRORRY: The rest are all too shy to talk.  You know how it is being from another dimension.

JOE:Not really.  Insanity is something I've never related to.

BAR-BAR: I'm Bar-Bar.  I was the one that yelled at Mike Aviles to shape up.  That was dumb as the players really called me on it.

BOO-BOO: And I'm the one that said this is the worst September mess in history.

BEE-BEE: I'm the one that insulted Youkilis.

BY-BY: I'm the one that made a general fool of myself.

JOE:OK...By-By and Boo-Boo and Bee-Bee and Bar-Bar and Brorry and Brobby and Bobby can I just talk to Bobby!

BY-BY:Ok
BEE-BEE: OK
BOO-BOO:OK
BAR-BAR:OK
BRORRY:OK
BROBBY:OK
BOBBY:OK

Joe: One last question. Would you manage again.

BOBBY: In a heartbeat.  I can bring my excellence as a manager to a variety of teams.  Imagine what I could do to the Yankees.

JOE: I speak for every Red Sox fan and encourage you to pursue that avenue.  You will make a lot of Red Sox fans happy.

BOBBY:I called them but they never called me back. 

JOE:With that...I'm Joe Derive.