911's Area Code

Theo Epstein was examining and trying out his new gorilla suit. What a wonder of modern design he thought as he slipped it on and starred at himself in the mirror. He felt...

"Theo, I thought we talked about the gorilla suit..."

Theo twisted around and starred at his boss John Henry through the slits in the suit. John shook his head in disgust.

"Is that a gun?"

"Oh, "said Theo gingerly picking it up. "Yup, yup, ah yes sir. Old World War I gun...with trigger action and..."

"You with a loaded gun...that's not good."

"Relax, "said Theo. "It's not like its loaded. I picked it up on Ebay. Thought I'd collect some antiques myself. "

"Now that you've wrecked mine I see."

If only Theo had not aimed the gun at John Henry while making that revelation. If only Theo would have reacted in time as the blast of gun powder blazed through the air. However, Theo did not and witnessed John crashing on the ground.

"You...idiot..." cried John as the bullet struck his shoulder. "Moron, "cried John as his body struck the ground. "Stupid, "cried John as he looked up at Theo's face.

"Oh, no, "cried Theo. "oh, no...it was loaded..."

"Get...help."

Of course thought Theo. What a fool he was. He ran to the phone. He couldn't think of the number. He called 411.

"Hello 411 what city please..."

"Ah...Boston...ya..."

"What?"

"Boston..."

"I can't understand you sir. You sound like you're in a gorilla suit."

Theo promptly threw off the mask.

"Yes, I need the number for emergency."

"That's...911 sir. I can connect you..."

Before Theo could do that he dropped the phone and promptly started to dial the number. In the background John Henry could be heard throwing curses in the air.

"Oh crap...911...what's the area code?"

Theo called back 411 desperate for an answer.

"411...what city..."

"Boston..."

"How may I help you."

"What's the area code of Boston?"

"617...and what number..."

Theo quickly hung up the phone. He dialed 617 911 and waited. In the meantime John's tones were becoming fainter by the second. The curses that John spat out were less vociferous in nature.

"It's not working....crap it's not working."

Theo hung up in panic. He dialed 617 911-9119 desperate to get an idea.

"Hello."

"I need help...my boss has been shot."

"What is this? Call 911, what ya bugging me for."

"I'm trying but I don't know the number. Help me!"

A long pause followed.

"Is this Candid Camera or something?"

"No, I need the number for 911 to call for help."

"It's 911..."

"I tried. I dialed 617 911 and it doesn't work."

Theo could hear howling laughter in the background.

"Just...no wait, is this a reality TV show. OK now I know what's next. What's the questions I'm asked? OK...ah...hello?"

'No, I'm Theo Epstein..."

A long pause followed.

"Shut up. You ain't no Theo Epstein so really, what's my prize!"

"No, no..." said Theo trying to act confident. In the background Henry's breathing was becoming labored. Theo was so panicked he hung up and ran to John.

"I tried John, I really did but there is no way to dial 911."

Theo felt his throat being choked and a smile grew on John's lips. Already his life signs were starting to return to normal.

"Just..." cried John.

Theo's head shook to the left.

"Dial..." cried John.

Theo's head swung to the right.

"9-1-1." cried John.

Theo nodded.

"I tried..."

Theo's head struck the desk.

"Dial...9......1........1"

Theo nodded. He ran back to the desk stepping over John's wounded shoulder. The scream could have cracked glass. He paused as the scream ran through the room.

"Oh, I get it. You dial 911!"

Theo punched in the numbers. He felt so proud.

"911 what is your emergency."

"Oh thank goodness. I've been trying to reach you guys forever. I dial 617 911 and then I dial 617 911-9119 and nothing!"

"Sir...what is the nature of the emergency and who's that screaming."

"Oh ya, I just shot my boss...but he's OK."

Theo heard nothing for several seconds...

"Just stay right where you are. We're going to take care of the situation...oh are you Theo Epstein?"

"Ya, "said Theo.

"Theo...did you shoot John Henry...again. Oh what are we going to do with you. Now relax and tell us where you are."

Theo hung up and walked over to John Henry,

"They're sending help John. They just need to know where we are. "

Theo nodded and sat down satisfied that help was on the way. They just needed to know where they were. For some reason Theo had a nagging feeling he forgot something but then he remembered. He needed a quart of milk at the store. He ran out in a hurry. The store was closing at 5:00 pm.

THE END