September

September 1st at the press conference of Terry Francona.

"No, we're excited. We're in first place and we're doing very, very, well. I...I don't see any problems in the future. October is on the way."

"What, pitching, John Lackey, Matt Albers, no we're fine. I'm sure Lackey and Albers will be fine. I mean everybody else is doing good. "

September 5th at the press conference of Terry Francona.

"Ya, we're having some problems but nothing to worry about. We'll turn it around. We always do. Nothing to worry about.

"What, pitching, the entire starting rotation, no we're fine so far. We have a great bullpen that can fill in the slack while our entire starting rotation caves and goes down the sewer."

September 12th at the press conference of Terry Francona.

"Ya, we're having some worries here but nothing really to worry about...much. We'll turn it around. We always do...we're...mostly confident.

"What, pitching, the entire staff, .ya...it's showing some wear and tear but you know, I'm not worried. I'm completely confident our entire pitching staff will fix things because if they don't then I don't know what to do...but ya...actually I am worried...but not much. "

September 17th at the press conference of Terry Francona.

"OK this is getting serious. We can't hit, we can't pitching and we can't win games but we're...kind of confident in a sort of defeated -- going home early -- sort of way.

"What...animal sacrifices...I've heard rumors but really nothing...oh the lamb that's been blessed by the God Isis...well, he's my pet...ya...lamb."

September 20th at the press conference of Terry Francona.

"Ah, ya we've tried animal sacrifices...rumors...all rumors..."

"Ya, I would say we're getting desperate...ya, you can say that but I just want to say that Josh is confident what the problem is with the entire pitching staff. "

(Heidi Whatney screams and runs past Tito chased after by Josh Beckett carrying a club.)

"Heidi, we're just trying to contact Jupiter in hopes that he can lead us to some vestal virgins. "

(Both run through the room)

"You didn't hear that right?"

September 22nd at the press conference of Terry Francona.

"Ah, no all these crazy rumors...nope...none. "

"Ya, I would say we're getting desperate...ya, you can say that but I just want to say that Josh is confident what the problem is with the entire organization. "


Josh runs through the room.

"Sorry... no big deal."


"He's just...kidding...around. I've gotta go."

September 23rd at the press conference of Terry Francona.

?????