Wanted: New Supervillan Manager

John Henry arranged the TV remote on his desk in such a way that it satisfied his demeanor. He rubbed his neck and tapped the fingers on his desk. Theo Epstein had gathered together several candidates for the new manager position. Theo assured him they were hard lined. Theo assured him they came highly recommended. Theo assured him they were safe choices.

"May I come in!"

He had a giggly laugh and a lanky build. What caught John the most though was his dark green skin, not too far off from the Fenway Park color. No, even more than that, his brain, three times the size of a normal brain almost sent John running out of the office.

"Ah, welcome...sit down."

"Gladly Mr. Henry. May I say you have chosen your new leader. Get it -- Leader???"

He laughed like a madman as a sudden burst of lightening jostled John from his chair.

"Did you do that?"

"Of course. With my brain I can control the world...but first I must defeat the my arch nemesis the Incredible Hulk. Only then can the Leader -- get it -- the LEADER can rule the world."

John sighed.

"OK while I do appreciate the fact that you have the Fenway Park color..."

"Gamma radiation you know."

"And you have a brain three times the size of mine..."

"Ditto..."

"But you are utterly insane and the idea of the Incredible Hulk learning of the 'Green Monster'... no thank you. It was bad enough when David Ortiz thought Jason Gabbard..."

"It's KASON. When are you gonna get it right!"

"Anyway, David thought he heard Jason, as in Jason from Friday the 13th and got out his rocket launcher..."

"KASON...you're doing this on purpose!"

"Anyway, David sent a rocket into the left field wall. It was then I had to put a ban on rocket launchers in the locker room. No thank you."

John quickly threw the Leader out of his office and sat down again. He took a breath of air.

"So you turned down the Leader!"

He walked in with a green cloak and a metallic costume and sat down bearing his evil eyes down at John.

"Dr..."
"Doom...yes the greatest enemy of the Fantastic Four. I am, a genius, far superior to that Leader. It was I who defeated the Fantastic Four many a times..."

"And took down half of New York City."

"A necessary inconvenience. Pity, I never got to see Cats."

"And you want to be the next manager of the Red Sox."

"Only to lure the Fantastic Four into my deadly Apotacary of Doom however I assure you a new World Series title as well. Any player refusing to work with Dr. Doom will meet his fate at the hands of my bionic armor which will turn their bodies into..."

"OK thanks for coming in and all. Nice costume, like the armor and I will consider your offer."

"I rule Lavertia and soon I will rule the world. Consider well because..."

"OK well good luck with world takeover. Have a good day Dr. Doom. Yes we'll talk soon!"

John stopped shaking his body and sat down again trying to feel his heart and wonder if it was still beating.

John reeled back against the wall as a four armed being came into the room. The arms were mechanical and extended to the seat where he placed himself down.

"Dr. Otto Octavious...but you know me better as Dr. Octopus...who would be leader of the world if not for the likes of Spiderman."

"Oh God."

"Hire me John Henry and I will show them the price for failure. Your John Lackey will find his head amputated..."

"OK I think we've got all we need to know and besides I saw Spiderman flying through Boston taunting you or...something"

"SPIDERMAN...my enemy, the doom of my existence. His mocking and taunting tone...I shall destroy him with my bionic armor."

Before John could react he endured the blowing wind past his face as Doc Ock smashed the window and began hurdling through the buildings in chase.

"This is not good."

John sat down and made a call.

"Theo...no I do not like the idea of supervillains...yes i know they are hard lined but...yes I get the green color but don't send in the Green Goblin OK!"

John slammed the phone down.
"Green Goblin and Dr. Oct defeating Spiderman...I am not in the superhero business!"

Before John could react his entire window was once again its former self. John took a breath and sat down again.

"Call me the Mandarin. I and my power rings will change the world...and I am green in color like the fear from those who face me must face when they face the likes of the Mandarin. I, Iron Man's greatest enemy, will face my wrath and bear the weight of doom, true doom..."

"Could you run through that again because I have no idea what you just said. Is that monologing?"

John then saw a parade of costumes pouring into his office.

"Excuse me but the Red Skull..."

"Must move aside for the KingPin..."

"All of you move aside for Lex Luthor..."

"Oh..#$#$#$" said John.


THE END