Texas Chainsaw Massacre

Last night the Sox lost 18 - 3.  Here is what Bobby said about Jon Lester who gave up over 7 runs in two innings. 

"I thought Jon [Lester, yes the one that pitched last night] had great stuff tonight, down and away. They were fouling some tough pitches off. Jon just kept battling..." -- Bobby V, forgetting once again to take his medication



Hi, I'm Joe Derive at Arnie's chowing on some beer with Bobby Valentine.  Arnie, as you know is a long time restaurant owner serving the best food in town and beer too.  Course, I haven't had mine because Bobby is now on beer number 14.  I regret his morning headache.

[Bobby]
 "Hey...Joe...how can you [burp] eat...beer."

Ah, you're drunk again.  So Bobby, any wise words after last night's disaster.


[Bobby]
 "Ah...don't put...[burp]...foot...in...mouthtttttthhhh'

Ya, that works.  Hey after last night's 18 - 3 loss, do you feel like the Sox are still a contender.

[Bobby]
"I...feel...like...I want...my...job...back....as [burp]...PSN...or something..."

Can't blame you there.  Do you think you feel like the Sox can turn it around.


[Bobby]
 "I...believer...I just said that answer...[burp][fart][burp] Joey..."


[Arnie]
Are you guys done yet.  I'm gonna close!


[Bobby]
 "Oh...hi...Arnie...[burp]...me...sick [burp]"


[Arnie]
Man I miss the days of Terry Francona.  He had class when he became a stupid burping drunk.


[Bobby]
 "I [burp]...thought...hu?"


[Arnie]
I rest my case.

Well, anyway folks, we have Beckett today to look forward to. He should be great tonight and...ah who am I kidding.  Bring on the Seattle Mariners or somebody the Sox can take on and win.


[Bobby]
'Ha...not with Melonhead on the [burp] mound.  '


[Arnie]
'Don't blame Melonhead.  Everybody contributed to that disaster.  Look at Lester and Cody Ross and Aveles and poor Kevin Youk.  You guys were all hurting.


[Bobby]
'I thought Lester was...solid...really tough pitcher...just...[burp][burp]...ah he stunk ."


[Arnie]
He's not the only one.  When's the last time you showered Bobby?


[Bobby]
Ah....[burp]...ah....


[Arnie]
Don't answer that.  


I'm Joe Derive.