This just in, Red Sox management wants to make you feel at home at Fenway Park. Here are some added bonuses.
1) Free beer if the Sox are down by at least four runs. If they are down by eight, free morphine injections.
2) Free seating for the next game if the Sox actually win a game against a team better than the Seattle Mariners.
3) Free jersey worn by any pitcher who can win a game.
4) Free jersey worn by any pitcher that doesn't blow the game.
5) Free psychologists available for any fan having a nervous breakdown. Please reserve as they are heavily tied up in helping Bobby Valentine cope with the game.
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