No Witchcraft!

Time Wakefield, Jason Varitek, Mike Lowell and David Ortiz sat in the front row for the inspirational speaker that walked in the room. With a 4 and 9 record, the Sox needed some help.
"Hey Theo!"
"Hey Tim, "said Theo Epstein the general manager of the Sox. "I'd like to introduce Pat Robertson."
Pat sat down and starred at the crowd.
"Witchcraft as practiced by the Boston Red Sox along with flagrant satan worship, as displayed by your team color, is why your failing at your game..."
Pat continued on but Mike Lowell turned to Tim.
"Is he saying we're practicing witchcraft?"
Tim nodded, as if a bit unsure and said, "you mean like the T.V. series Bewitched?"
David shook his head. Tim picked up the queue.
"It's an old series where Samantha, a witch, was dominated by her sexist husband who felt that it was OK for her to be a subservient slave in his household but not express herself through witchcraft."
David nodded feeling confused.
Mike said, "does that mean that Samantha was gay because I heard that witchcraft leads to homosexual behavior."
Tim squinted with his eyes and said, "ah...it's a TV show...you know."
Jason strung in and said, "that was so yesterday. Charmed is where its at and Shanon Dorothy was seriously hot."
David nodded in and said, "Big Poppi would have a good time in her room."
Tim shook his head and said, "First of all Shannon Dorothy is nothing compared to Holly Combs and second of all..."
"Second of all, "snapped Jason. "Alyssa Milano is so much hotter than the two combined."
Mike shook his head and said, "ya but Elizabeth Montgomery wasn't exactly a loser either."
Tim shook his head. "She was so subservient. She was a slave to Darin's male dominated role. What's so wrong about practicing witchcraft because the bone head had no problem using it when he was in trouble!"
David nodded and said, "ya and when Shannon..."
"We got it, "snapped Mike. "You have wet dreams over Shannon Dorothy now shut up will ya because I'm still having a fantasy about Rose McGowan. Oh man this is good."
Tim shook his head.
"Is that all you guys can think about is sex when we're dying as a team."
David nodded with a big yes on his face.
Mike agreed.
Jason nodded as well.
Tim sighed and said, "whatever."