Remembering Lugo

Just came up with this one on the top of my head.

With the 2007 Spring Training season around the corner the Red Sox look forward to a new look at shortstop with Julio Lugo. Julio has already gave us some unintentional comic relief when he threw the ball into the stands after fielding a grounder.
"I was just...joking around."
Lugo then threw a bat into the stands while taking warm up swings. It demonstrated Lugo's tremendous power and incompetence.
"I was just...joking around."
Lugo also threw his helmet at teammate Jason Varitek when he tripped over his glove and fell to the ground sending his helmet into the air.
"I was just...joking around."
Afterwards Julio gave us some demonstration of his great talent at short effectively missing every grounder tossed at him including one that was rolled to him from two inches away. However he still managed to throw his shoe at Dustin Pedroia after he forgot to tie it.
"I was just...joking around."
Fans themselves seemed quite amazed at Julio Lugo and his many skills.
"My brother with a broken back could play better than he could and he's not joking around!"
The warm air of spring training also showed Lugo's personal people skills when after eating almost a gallon of beans and raisins, he was unable to say excuse me once even after the clubhouse was evacuated and the EPA had to be called in to clear it up.
"I love raisins and beans."
Lugo ended the day by driving his car onto the field after he failed to notice the exit sign. The damaged caused got everyone talking to themselves how much change Lugo will bring to the team.
"When I asked for nine million a year, I was just...joking around but Theo wasn't. Ha!"
Afterwards, the team looked at a flatulance attack, bruised knees, missing bats and balls and a large fire that burned most of the stadium down where Lugo polished his shoes using grain alcohol and a flame thrower, everyone wondered what the future will bring with the Red Sox.
"I love...joking around, "said Julio.
Somehow nobody felt like it was a joke anymore.
I'm Don Orsello.