Boy Genius encourages Bunch of Idiots

Theo Epstein (Boy Genius) is known in Red Sox nation as the mind behind two championship teams. Theo, often called boy genius credits the Sox success by his 'idiot' policy. He says his latest goal now is "embarrassment protection."

"The Sox gave us the idea in 2004. I realized if we were to win, we had better act like idiots. It's the only way. I got that. That's why we get rid of players with great potential like Justin Masterson while paying players for not playing for us and look at the success it gives us. I'm really excited!"

Theo Epstein credits his managerial style for the brilliance that the Sox have had on the field but puzzles over 2010.

"You have to wonder what went wrong with the moves. I mean signing Josh Beckett to a large contract was a great move. Signing Dice-K is finally paying off for us. Once we've had enough of him, we'll send him to another team and continue paying for him. I just don't understand why this hasn't translated into wins. Right now we just want to avoid blow outs but I think with my brilliance we will find our path. Jacoby Ellsbury for Tony Pena. That works for me and we can throw in Jonathan Papelbon. Who needs him! Perhaps Terry Coma can help us with that."

Terry Coma was in his office drooling. We didn't have a comment but we asked Dice-K.

"It's been great. I get paid to do nothing and I like it that way. When I pitch I play around with pitches. Watch that pitch count go up! With the salary they pay me, why should I care. I mean only an idiot would pay me that much but I say, show me more money."

Julio Lugo also enjoyed his experience.

"I mean they paid me boat loads of money for nothing and I love them. They love me and I'm still making a ton of money. I love America. Next year I'm going for the Mets. They'll sign anybody."

So the Sox continue on their road to paradise it seems. Just a bunch of idiots.