Andrew Miller chewed out by Scott Boras

Scott Boras publicly screamed at player Andrew Miller after Miller walked off after three pitches with an injury.  The public altercation put Miller in his place and ownership was pleased with the screaming fest.

"This is the type of lecture that all players need before they climb the ladder of mediocrity, "cried Scott Boras.  "If a player is going to make it, he has to stay injury free until his large fat stupid contract. Then he can J.D. it.  Until then he has to stay healthy. "

J.D. it means to get injured often and long-term to avoid actually playing under that big fat contract.  Andrew Miller had only this to say.

"I was just practicing.  After J.D. Drew got the J.D. award for most injuries in a season -- Dick-K was second in votes, I wanted to warm up to that possibility.  You need practice in faking injuries.  I had no idea that this would backfire.  Ya gotta forgive me here."

Scott says it requires a lot of energy to make a player endure endless injuries.

"First their routine.  Less cardio and more weight to build up those inflexible bodies that easily rip and tear for a six month D.L. strain.  I tell players all the time, don't cardio -- weigh up instead.  Once you get the fat contract, think Coco Puffs and chocolate milk or some Twinkies and walk around with an attitude.  All of that will contribute to continued respect until you get your injury and still collect a paycheck."

Most managers and GM's know of the system.  Terry Francona had this to say.

"Well, we know it exists...you may not like it but its there.  For me, the most important thing was tap into minor leaguers.  They have to stay healthy where the big contract guys -- which Theo Epstein kept loading on me -- they have a different take. It's in their best interest to get hurt fast and often to avoid playing time.  I gotta tell ya that J.D. Drew was impressive.  He deserved the finger award for his injury talent. "

Theo Epstein had this to say.

"I can take a great organization like the Red Sox and cripple it and get a big fat job at the Cubs and get respect.  Hey did you get that Chris Carpenter giveaway.  Man our front office had a big laugh over that one.  Oh...are you recording this?"

I'm Joe Derive.