Bobby Valentine Most Impressed with one person in particular

Welcome to Red Sox News:

Bobby Valentine says today that he is most impressed with Bobby Valentine.

"When you run down the list of incredible talent, Bobby Valentine certainly tops the list by a lot and that matters if the Sox are going to make it to sixth place or even higher."

When asked what impressed Bobby Valentine most about Bobby Valentine he had this to say.

"I think fans will really appreciate Bobby Valentine most when we head back to Bobby Valentine Park (formally Fenway Park) in Boston and we see those balls fly over the Valentine Monster (formally the Green Monster).  Certainly team owner John Henry feels that when the games on the line, Valentine will be there to save them...and I plan to talk to John Henry a lot once he gets back from Liverpool one of these days."

Bobby Valentine, who took over for Terry Francona, feels confidence about himself as exhibited by various wall-sized posters located in various locations throughout Valentine Park in Florida, some personally autographed by Bobby Valentine in honor of his favorite team mate.

"I like Bobby Valentine.  While Valentine Park in Florida may be too small a place to keep such a great talent as myself, I feel with time fans will appreciate the legend that was born in the great city of Valentine Florida."

Until then Bobby can relish in himself.

Pedro Ciriaco relishes big game moment in game that didn't count for anything.  Credits hard winter work for getting nowhere fast.

Pedro Ciriaco says that he really enjoys winning big games that don't count for anything.

"When you hit a walk off home run in a game that doesn't count, it really reminds me how worthless my efforts were this offseason considering that they'll soon dump me back into Pawtucket while those overpriced crybabies can get money rained on them by stupid owners. Ya, that's where its at."

Pedro has worked extra hard this winter forcing himself to show everyone around him that he's yet another ignored  superstar that will be traded away for some washed up has-been.

"Ben (Cherington) and I have talked about how I can get unloaded for some injury prone superstar that will collect a paycheck while watching reruns of the Golden Girls on his private jet that the Red Sox will provide when the whine factor gets high enough as he heals up from the inevitable injuries that will carry him through to the end of the contract.  That's called the J.D. Factor by the way.  Meanwhile I should be thankful that they wash the uniforms properly in Pawtucket. I say @#RT#  Cherington."

Still Pedro says he isn't bitter.

"Nah, I know the story.  I look at Dice-K. He's lounging around for most of his contract watching Fresh-Prince of Bel Air and other 80's TV or borrowing John Henry's boat while I sweat my tail off to impress so they can say I'm not ready yet but may be trade bait for Eric Gagne or some other wash out.  I say #$#$ Cherington.  "

Until then Pedro will impress until he's forgotten until the trade deadline where the Sox will look for a superstar with multiple injuries, poor performance and a huge price tag. 

"One day someone thought I was Pedro Martinez.  I'd laugh if it wasn't so pathetic.  Ya I say...#$#$ Cherington. "

I'm Joe Derive.