Boring Spring for Joe Derive

You would think that a new manager, a new team in many ways, and a new attitude would make great press.  I'm bored and I'm Joe Derive.


OK everyone, welcome back to Florida, home of total boredom -- minus reruns of CSI Miami.  I mean have you guys read the articles from the Boston Paper which has a slightly bigger audience than my newspaper the Boston Backstop?  I mean:

Sox Get Day Off!
(This is a joke right...but no its an actual article!)

Clay Bucholtz Works on offspeed Pitches in sim game!
(and this is important because...)

Fans Show Great Concern Over Fifth Starter.
(Sox have no bullpen and no outfield and the Globe says they're worried about a fifth starter.  I don't think so!)

OK Red Sox fans.  We at the Boston Backstop have far more interesting articles like:

Boston Globe Fans Celebrate Pi (3.14) day.


I mean I know as a reporter you have to get articles in each day but this is ridiculous.  How about we just celebrate the number 3.141492654 which is the ratio between the circumference of a circle and the diameter.  Wow I have no life.



Boston Globe reports that Carl Crawford 'let's be stupid and not let a wrist injury heal isn't working too good right now.'

Wrist injuries take forever to heal and what do the brilliant Sox medical staff do - hey let's keep attacking the injury.  Did these guys even go to medical school or did they watch reruns of Gray's Anatomy and wrote down the dialog.  Carl Crawford may be the most overpaid player in the league right now.  Crawford is has a J.D. (named for the player who invented the idea) injury.  Right now he's going to join the ranks of the elite including Dice-K, J.D. Drew, John Lackey, Julio Lugo, etc.  He's done for the year and he knows it.

Boston Globe reports that shortstop position is about the only news coming out of Florida so we'd better hype it up or we're down to Fresh Fried Chicken dipped in Beer sauce from the kitchen of Josh Beckett. Actually that sounds pretty good right now.

Who cares about the shortstop position?  Sox have a history of picking the worst possible candidates for shortstop.  They can't help it.  It's a hobby for them now.  It's what gets them going in the morning.  Nick Green and Julio Lugo were the best comedy team in baseball history -- they just didn't know it at the time.  Face it Red Sox fans, Jose Iglesias isn't ready for prime time.  He will be at some point but right now Aviles is the shortstop.  That was settled at day one.  Jose can't hit well enough to help himself.  Maybe he never will.  Why does the Globe keep reporting on this as if anyone cares.  Nobody does. 

Who is the Red Sox Fifth Starter...BORING

The Red Sox have a wild array of bad has been pitchers for the fifth starter.  We know its going to be Prince Felix.  Everyone knows it.  Its decided.  This is not hard.  Do we take Andrew Miller who can't find the strike zone?  Do we take the injury plaqued talent that was purchased on the red-tag sale at K-Mart.  No we take Felix and hope that Dice-K can come back in June and while he's the most expensive pitcher in history -- as long as he can pitch do we care?