With a packed audience of former free agents, J.D. Drew, formally of the Boston Red Sox accepted a lifetime achievement award in recognition of his contribution to bad free agency. Drew, who stood with his family, welted tears as he spoke, clearly moved by the lauding claps of the audience. Scott Boras smiled and stood up clapping and cheering. It was a moving moment.
"This award...it...it clearly speaks to what is so great about baseball and Scott Boras. Without him, I never would have had...I'm sorry...I'm just so touched by this."
Drew, who held the award -- a hand with one finger sticking up -- wiped tears from his eyes.
"Scott...you know...told me from day one...that I have no talent...but he has a way to make me...make me a superstar."
Drew then wiped more tears off using his tie as a tear clearer. His wife smiled and hugged him.
"Scott said...do whatever you can to fake injuries and be sure to sign with Theo Epstein and both of those things created the J.D. -- a way for players to get paid boat loads of money and do nothing. I gotta tell ya...when I said I had dizzy spells, I couldn't believe they fell for it but Scott reminded me that we're talking baseball management. Then it all made sense."
Drew smiled at the audience and kissed his wife and children.
"My family has more money than it knows what to do with thanks to Scott Boras and I follow...I follow in the footsteps of Dice-K, Julio Lugo and others who work hard at staying injured. It means...it means everything to me to be here. I love this community and I love you all. Thank you."
Drew walked off stage to a standing ovation. I'm Joe Derive and I'm depressed.
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