John Henry NOT selling team

Hi, I'm Joe Derive. 

John Henry denied today that he was selling the Red Sox.

John:
It's not true.  While the Sox are a great investment in a dynamic team with winning potential, we are NOT, and I repeat, NOT taking offers.

Joe:
So the team is NOT for sale?

John:
Not at all.  We are committed to the Sox and to their future. This is a great francise that can offer a substantial profit to a potential 'NOT' buyer.  I want to also mention our proprietary software and the legend of Fenway Park.  Yes sir...NOT that I'm selling but I envy ANYONE who wants to buy this team...today...please.

Joe:
So its good to know that the Sox are in good hands with you.

John:
Yes...we take Visa or Mastercard or a company check.  If, say, hypothetically the Sox do sell...NOW...I will be terribly depressed.  All this time away from this great francise and the great Boston press...oh man I'm giddy.  Anyway, no, we're not selling.

Joe:
Their are rumors that Liberty Medical wants to...

John;
SOLD.

Joe.
Ah...just a rumor...

John:
Of course...yes...not selling. 

Joe:
And the rumor that...

John:
SOLD:

Joe;
I didn't even tell you the name of the company!

John:
Right...sorry...great team.  No headaches here.  No, at my age I enjoy being torn up in the press, ripped apart, rumored, smeared while my team goes into flames with a dolt of a manager.  Ya, great,  love it.  Ya why in hell would ANYONE want to sell this team right!  First their is Manny Ramirez then Dice-K then Eric 'GAG-ME' then Julio Lugo then this fiasco of a manager who can't keep his #$#$ *@#@ SHUT.  Then of course I say anything and the #$#$ press is all over me.  Sure, I say hello and it makes headlines that John Henry doesn't smile enough.  I'm TIRED OF THIS TEAM.  Sell this #$#$#$ 345343@#@ @#@#@#@# NOW.

Joe:
OK...right.

John:
Sorry, not for sale.

I'm Joe Derive.