Sox don't want fans at Yankee series

Hi, I'm Joe Derive and apparently Larry Luchionno wants all fans to stay home for the entire Red Sox/Yankee series  Here's the insane reason why:

Larry:
Unfortunately the game that featured the people from the DC universe who came to visit and enjoy a nice evening at Fenway park also caught the attention of Darkside and his forces of evil.  There will apparently be a long battle in the next three games between the two opposing forces -- in another dimension -- but there is the real risk that the battle will ensue in Fenway park.  We BEG fans to stay away at ALL cost.

Apparently this is an actual picture of Darkseid (not DarkSide as dumb, dumb Larry calls him) ready to destroy Fenway Park battling Superman and the entire league of heroes.

Joe:
So the fans can't see the actual battle.

Larry:
No...only the players can so they know when to get off the field like when Darkside uses his Anti-Life equation to destroy the stadium.

Joe:
(I must confess at this point that I was completely at a loss to explain his insanity.

Larry:
I think the fans will appreciate the fact that they are using Fenway park as the battleground for the fight for control of the universe.  Yankee fans should enjoy it as well.  If Fenway park does get destroyed it will be in another dimension so I'm not worried.

Joe:
So...ah...actually I have no idea what I'm going to ask next except have you been taking your medication and if not...why?

Larry:
Ha, ha, that's good Joe.  Look, really, this is an epic battle.  We'll have Wondergirl, Batman, Superman, Supergirl, Superdog, ah..Batboy, Waterman, Sunman, Dryman, Wetman and all of them battling the evil Darkside.  Going to be epic but because of the dangers to public health we're asking fans to stay away.  I might add Bobby Valentine might be permanently killed in the battle but we are looking for another manager to replace him.

Joe:
So...you're letting the grounds crew here.

Larry:
Yes

Joe:
You're letting the television crew here?

Larry:
Yes.

Joe:
Security, janitors, electricians, vendors...

Larry:
Vendors are especially important because when you're taking over the universe, a well balanced diet of popcorn, peanuts, hotdogs, cotton candy and crackerjack are an essential part of a good nutritious diet rich in proteins and vitamins and essential fatty acids.

Joe:
What are you talking about??????????

Larry:
The important thing is that anyone who shows up does so at their own expense.  We cannot guarantee their safety once Brainiac tries to turn everyone into zombies.  However, we have talked to both teams and they feel they are in no danger.

Joe:
How can you play a ballgame while an epic battle is going on between good and evil.  That's insane?

Larry:
You can if you are doing it in two universes.  We'll have the electronic scoreboard running all the time so fans can witness Superman battling Darkside.

Joe.
You just told them not to show up yet somehow all of this makes perfectly logical...sense to you?

Larry:
Every last bit.  This is the same mind that got us such greats as Carl Crawford, Eric Gagne, J.D. Drew, Julio Lugo and other great ballplayers.

Joe:
(Well at least that answers that.)

Joe:
So they'll only battle during the Yankee/Red SOx games?

Larry:
When the two teams meet, it provides enough energy to open up the portal to the universes bridging them using the flux capacitance of the multiuniverse bridge.  It's really complicated science.  I don't expect you to understand it you know.

Joe:
I'm not sure Larry understands it either.

Larry:
OK, I should go.  I'm pressing Batman's cape. He has to look his best when he battles Bait...or is it Bane...anyway I have to go.

Joe:
To the mental hospital.  Of course the real reason is that Larry doesn't want the fans to see the Red Sox be destroyed by the Yankees.  I'm Joe Derive.