Detective's Finest

"Hello?"

The knock on the door brought caution to the homeowners' face. She starred down the three quirky fellows dressed in what looked like 1940's detective suits bought from a thrift shop.

"Mam, do you know anything about baseball?"

The homeowner shook her head.

"Good. My name is Julio Lugo...detective Julio Lugo and this is my team J.D. Drew and Eric Gagne. We're Florida's finest detectives."

"Ow...this hurts." cried Drew who was rubbing his finger.

"Don't mind him. He's always in pain."

"OK...but I wasn't robbed of anything. That's the next street over."

Before she could react the three poured into her home. Three large boxes of powdered donuts were being slowly consumed by Detective Gagne who kept slamming into things knocking over items as he walked along and leaving foot prints of donut powder like a trail through the house.

"Don't mind Gagne, he can't see very well without his bottle glasses. "

"Really, I'm fine..." said Gagne.

She watched as a large vase crashed to the ground.

"What are you doing!"

"Just checking to see if your stolen property...ah...was in the vase, "said Gagne.

"You are getting powder from those blasted donuts all over my home."

"Mam, " shouted Gagne. "I am DUSTING for PRINTS."

"No you're eating the prints...now will you please leave. I have no need for detectives.'

Lugo invaded her space and moved in closer starring up at her.

"Mam, there has been a crime committed here. "

"Yes and I'm looking at it!" cried the homeowner.

Lugo turned towards his detectives.

"Gagne, did you check upstairs for the stolen property."

"What stolen property...I haven't been robbed...yet!" shouted the homeowner.

"Yup.' said Gagne spraying donut powder all over the walls as he talked. The fine film reflected against the sunlight of the room.

"Drew, did you check under the couch for the stolen property."

'Yup, "said Drew in between tears as he apparently sprained his neck starring under the couch. "Nothing here Lugo."

Lugo gave off an impression of utter frustration.

"Our best efforts for nothing. Well, I'm out of ideas, "said Lugo throwing his hands in the air.

"Enough... if you three do not leave the house I am calling the police."

"Mam, we are the police, "said Lugo before he grabbed another donut and started chowing on it. Lemon creme filling dripped down his face. Lugo wiped it up and smeared it on the wall.

"What are you doing!"

"I am making a crime scene. That's...like...ah...yellow tape you know."

"I have had enough. Get out! Get out!"

"Wait, "shouted Drew. " I found a knife in the kitchen and it has blood on it!"

"Ah ha!" shouted Lugo. "How did it get there."

"Oh, I forgot, I just cut myself on it. Wow does it hurt. Owww."

Lugo shook his head.

"That's it I am calling the police."

"I found it."

As the homeowner ran towards the phone, Gagne pulled on the vacuum cleaner cord which unfortunately was held so high in the air so the homeowner crashed right into it and fell hard on the floor.

"This ain't good, "said Gagne.

"Hey anyone got bandages, "cried Drew. "The more I try to stop the bleeding the more it seems to bleed. "

"Will someone call an ambulance. You idiots sprained my ankle."

"One minute mam. First we need to take this fingerprint powder and spray it over the house. We'll use your vacuum cleaner in reverse. In seconds we'll know who the culprit is!"

"NOOOOO"

Within a second a find mist of powder poured all over the house. As the dust cleared coughing could be heard everywhere. The three detectives waved their hands in the air trying to cope with the powder.

"Can anybody see any fingerprints!"

"Somebody open some windows.." shouted Gagne.

"Get the fan...I'll blow it out." shouted Drew.

Lugo grabbed a large fan spraying dust through the air.

"I know, I'll light a fire so we can see, "cried Drew.

"Are you an idiot, "screamed Lugo. "Use a propane torch. That'll generate light...and hurry."

Drew ignored the please of Lugo and soon a large fire poured through the house. Lugo, Drew and Gagne ran out of the house carrying the homeowner.

She got up and starred at the house.

"Stupid Drew...use a gas heater. I told you to use a gas heater. Now we have to figure out who burned the house down and sprained this woman's fine ankle."

Drew and Gagne sat there and munched on donuts.

"We should start in the basement. Could find a clue there." said Gagne spraying donut powder in the wind.

Lugo agreed. The homeowner just starred at them all and shook her head.