I Throw Strikes

Hi, I'm Joe Derive and I'm talking Dan Wheeler today. Granted, to say the Sox are dying out there is an understatement but we do see some signs of hope. For instance, I'm still bugged why Tito Francona isn't petitioning Major League Baseball to play the California Angels exclusively in 2012. OK, I'm kidding.

Today though, I want to talk about Dan Wheeler. Dan Wheeler cost the Sox three million dollars which isn't so bad. After all, Dan Wheeler throws strikes. How do I know that Dan Wheeler throws strikes? Well, that's because that's all he ever says!

“That’s what I do, I throw strikes. "

That seems OK for the Red Sox because pitching coach Curt Young seems also to be taken in by this tag line:

"I like what he's doing because he's throwing strikes. "

You have to wonder where the education system in the United States went wrong. So I go out to Dan and ask him why he thinks he struggles so badly.

"I feel confident where I’m at,’’ he said. “The numbers don’t look good, but I throw strikes. There’s nothing as far as my health and did I mention throw strikes.’’

On Monday he threw strikes and Vernon Wells hit a two run homer.

"I threw strikes. Sometimes when you throw strikes they hit home runs. I've been thinking of throwing balls but then they get walks. You don't want walks. Home runs are much better. "

Then I asked Tito Francona, the spokesman for those with an IQ and he said:

"He eats up innings."

Well, I guess if you're going to pay three million dollars for a man you have to find something positive to say about it.

"Hey, don't forget I throw strikes."

Don't worry Dan, nobody will!