Sox beat Rays

Hi, I'm Joe Derive and its 4:30 in the morning after the Sox beat the New York Rays in the twenty fiftth hundredth inning. I'm Joe Derive and I'm at Arnie's celebrating..."

"You're drunk, " smiled Arnie who put another plate of food on the table. Arnie looked tired with red eyes but he seemed full of energy.

"With me is my special guest Alfredo Aceves or something like that who won the game."

"Joe, I can't eat any more food here. I'm stuffed."

Joe leaned over smelling of Bud Lite and every other beer known to man and said, "you were hungry in the game...and I gotta tell ya Alfred, you're putting on some weight here..."

Joe watched Alfredo get up and storm out not looking happy.

"Oh that didn't go over...well. Anyway the New Jersey Rays..."

"Florida...Florida Rays Joe."

Joe leaned in as Arnie moved away from his bad breath.

"You are the nicest man in the world. You let me and my crew knock continuously on your door at 4:00 am in the morning screaming and yelling to wake you up to open up this place to me and my crew and you did it. You did it. I love you Arnie."

"Ya, that's fine Joe. Now eat and order."

Joe leaned in on the camera.

"Anyway, old Dustin Pedroia made the final hit or something like that. I mean the Sox became the Sox. They were heroes..."

Joe leaned back.

"Anyway, I'm here at Arnie's restaurant. Having the best imported beer in the world all the way from New Zealand. Arnie broke out this New Zealand Bud Lite, and you know its from New Zealand because I see New Zealand written with a sharpie right here and at only $75 dollars a bottle, Arnie is the best. "

"Sorry about the cost Joe but with the new 50% sales tax in this state its a killer. "

Joe shrugged.

"Arnie, you're the best. No worries. How much is the bill anyway?'

"About 15 thousand dollars right now but don't worry. I can give you a discount."

Joe's tears drained from his face.

"You're the best Arnie but don't worry. We'll pay in full. Don't try to talk me out of it. You can beg and scream but I'm paying in full with a 50% tip."

"OK, "said Arnie shrugging and walking away.

"You know I don't remember paying this amount before but that's OK. Maybe Arnie charges more for this imported pizza from Italy. Arnie told me he had the pizza flown in the night before just for me. What a guy. It was worth the fifteen hundred dollars for it. I had no idea that Pizza Hut pizza was made in Italy."

Joe leaned towards the camera.

"Anyway, that team is amazing and to deal with the greatest, greatest Red Sox in history is going to be awesome. Pedroia and Peckett and Papybon and all those others including Danny Band. Ah the bill."

Joe picked it up as tears welted in his eyes.

"Fourteen thousand nine hundred and ninety nine dollars. Arnie even gave me a small discount of a thousand dollars or something. Arnie take my credit card. It the bosses anyway. He won't mind. "

Arnie shook Joe's hand and said, "It was worth being woken up in the middle of the night just to serve you Joe. Thanks and can i include a 90% tip.'


Joe got up standing straight.

"Of course Arnie. Anything for you because you would never take advantage of a great guy like you. "

He then fell over on the ground. Arnie waved the card and it got approved. He smiled at the crew.

"Anytime folks anytime."

Arnie yawned and smiled.

"I think I can close early today."


Join us next time as Joe explains to his boss how One hundred and thirty thousand dollars got charged to his credit card.