Post Election Health

Welcome to the BOBBY VALENTINE SHOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bobby: DOUBLE FIST

John Lackey: DOUBLE FIST

Bobby: Hey everyone is asking me...Bobby, what do I eat now that election season is like...ovah so I came up with these low calories things so that you like don't get fat.

John Lackey: I know I know!

Bobby: Oh ya...fried chicken and beer!

Bobby: Hey no MOLD!

John Lackey: One word - health department!

Bobby: Oh ya that is one word...I think.  Anyway folks, here is your post-election, football season low-calorie snack treat.  First...cheese dipped potatoes in lots of cheese. I call it...what do I call it!

John Lackey: You call it $#$#$#$. #$#$

Bobby: No that's after dinner.

John: Oh OK.  Here's the dish.  We call it:

CHEESE AND POTATO FUNERAL

Bobby: John...I think I know what heaven tastes like now. 

John Lackey: It's only 2900 calories, 182 grams of fat and 240 grams of carbs.  Man how'd I say that?

Bobby: I have NO idea...hey what's a gram anyway?  Is it the size of...

John and Bobby: DOUBLE FIST!
Bobby: Personally, when I need to start my day of ...whatever I do... I have to eat a healthy breakfast. This is my favorite and you health food nuts please know it's so LOW in calories you hardly taste it! I call it

PAN FAT

John: I can't argue with you there! It's got 1,540 calories, 77 grams of fat, 9 grams of trans fats, 198 grams of carbs and 109 grams of sugar. What a healthy way to start your day.  May I feel sober.

Bobby: Ya but once you eat that...you're still hungry for MORE!  So let's drink up this awesome snack before lunch.  John can you tell them about it! I call it:

SPAGETTI SLUDGE

John: I'm already wet with hunger.  At 2430 calories its a nice snack before dinner.  With only 128 grams of fat and 207 grams of carbs...oh ya 5290 miligrams of sodium or 5.290 grams of sodium,  Hey, how'd I do that!

Bobby:No kidding!  Hey how'd you turn smartful.  You sick or something?

John: Nah, oh ya, I remember now.  Before I got sloshed I had a diet consulterer drum up the numbers for me.  

Bobby: You use a diet thing?  You sure about that spare-tire John?

John: Hey, she's hot and I picked her up...oh somewhere.

Bobby: Oh well that's OK then.

John: Ready for a BURNING DESIRE???

Bobby: Oh...ya....

BURNING DESIRE

 

John: I just wet my pants.

Bobby: Ya I know what you mean!

John: No really I forgot to use the can.

Bobby: That's OK...I did to.  Now tell us about it!

John: Anyway with only 2,740 calories, 166 grams of fat, 191 grams of carbs and 5,280 mg sodium 

Bobby: OK folks that's it for today...mainly because my chest hurts.  Man all this food is making me hungry!

John:  Bobby, I don't feel so good.  My chest...doctor says my cholesterol is about ah...600,000 or something like that.

Bobby: But we eat healthy food!

John: I know but something about that I'm insane or something.  I know let's end today's show with...

Bobby and Johnny: DOUBLE FIST