Joe Derive and Truck day

Hi, I'm Joe Derive and we're here on Truck day where a bunch of insane fans are braving the cold to watch a tracker trailer truck head out to Florida for the start of Spring training.  I talked to some fans and the truck driver.  Here's what happened.

Truck driver
"Oh about one third of the truck is baseball equipment.  We also got an X-Ray machine as well.  Most of the rest is dirt bikes,  golf clubs, frozen fried chicken, beer,  caviar, fine jewelry, cheese and wine, ah...a variety of cold cereals, pop-tarts, adult movies, you know stuff the players need to get them in the mood to play baseball.  "

"Wait...did you say pop-tarts?"

"Ya, got that and massage equipment, a hot tub, hair dryers, Italian suits, expensive headphones, custom designed golf shoes...lawn equipment, art supplies, you know essentials..."


"OK, well good luck on your trip and we won't take up anymore of your time...I hope."

I then talked to a bunch of fans starting with this family.

FAMILY
"Daddy I want to go home... I can't feel my feet."
"We came all the way from Austrialia to see this and we're going to see this stupid truck leave and we're going to like it because we're Red Sox fans...GOT IT"
"Yes Daddy...but I can't feel my toes..."
"Honey, she has a point...we're standing here in the cold to watch a tractor trailer truck drive away..."
"You would think that they would hand out Hot chocolate or something!"

OK well, that was pleasant...and yes I got them some hot chocolate...man the Sox management is cheap.  Here the fans are waiting out in the cold to watch a truck leave the stadium and they won't even buy them hot chocolate...I asked Larry Luchino about this.

Larry
We have such loyal fans,..some family from Australia, New York, all over the world come to see this truck leave...its a tradition Joe.
"How about handing them some hot chocolate?"
"Well of course.  Fans can purchase hot chocolate and if they buy it now it's only $14.00 a cup plus we're giving away free cups with the hot chocolate signed by the truck driver."
Of all the outrageous ideas Larry!  How can you be this cheap!
"Look Joe, we're also handing out autographed hats and gloves that fans can purchase at $75 for the hats and $95 for the gloves.  They were worn heavily by Josh Beckett while he worked out in the winter so you get his stinking sweat as well.  Its a bargain...and did I mention if you have an extra $126, we're selling J.D. Drew's diarrhea underwear as well as Tim Wakefield's kidney stone underwear...."
No!!!!


OK, Sox fans.  You need to write a bunch of letters to these nutcases so we can take back our team...

"Hey Joe have you seen where they're selling Josh Beckett's gloves and hats...!"

I'm Joe Derive and get me OUT OF HERE!!!!