Get Smart -- AGAIN and AGAIN

John Henry sat stoic and confused in a hotel room with Ben Cherington sitting across from him.  The point of the meeting -- new management.

Ben:
Just waiting to ensure chief that security is imposed.  We don't want our enemies learning our secrets!

John:
Ben, we're in last place, the worst record in the American league with a bloated payroll and shameful performances from everyone -- I wouldn't worry about it.

Ben:
You can't be too careful chief!

John:
You're not going to stop calling me chief are you?

Ben:
Now chief, I can't call you by your real name -- security you know!

John:
For once that makes sense.  Being in the same room with you is too shameful for words.  OK Ben...

Ben:
Ah...ya...OK.  Now about our new manager.  John Farrell. The Jays will take as compensation Will Middlebrooks and Clay Buckholz.  Managed to make sure they wouldn't take Daniel Bard...but that's our little secret.

John:
So, you want to give up an all star third baseman and a terrific pitcher...for a manager that has a record that's almost as bad as ours.

Ben:
Chief, don't be so glum.  Moves like that will guarantee a new chapter in the Red Sox!

John:
Oh I have no doubt of that you idiot.  Come on Ben, I don't want to look at more stupid than I already am at the moment!  Pick someone else!

Ben:
Tim Bogar!

John:
Who has the worst record in the league? NO NO NO NO NO

Ben:
Are you trying to tell me something chief?



Ben:
I knew it.


Ben:
The old General Manager in a gorilla suit.  That's the second time you pulled that off Theo.

Theo:
OK you got me.

Ben:
I knew it.  How could you possibly be so dumb.  I happened to be an expert in dumb!

John:
The truth comes out.



Theo:
Its' not like that former chief.  I was simply...

John:
spying!

Theo:
would you believe testing out a new gorilla suit.

John:
I find that hard to believe.

Theo:
How about a costume party?

John:
No...

Theo:
OK you win John.  I was spying on you but for a reason.  I needed help.

Ben:
Aren't you ashamed of yourself Theo.  You could have used your gorilla suit for good...instead of evil!



Theo:
Well you haven't gotten me yet.  You just watch.  In five years the Cubs will be winning their first championship with a sweep, a sweep of the World Series.  Would you believe that?




John:
That's like saying that Ben Cherington and Theo Epstein are smart.
 
 Theo, Ben
Very funny.

John:
Goodness, I just realized something -- you two are identical twins.

Ben,Theo:
Not true.  We think totally different from each other.

Ben, Theo:
Stop repeating everything I say.

Ben, Theo:
I said stop it

Ben, Theo:
You are not a part of this team!

Ben, Theo:
I feel like I'm talking to myself!

Ben, Theo:
Stop it before I go insane!

Ben, Theo:
Say one more word...

Ben, Theo:
Julio Lugo!

Ben, Theo:
Eric Gagne

Ben, Theo:
The OPS is the ONLY number you need to evaluate a player.

John:
How did we ever win two world series?  How!

Ben, Theo:
Stop thinking like me.

Ben, Theo:
I am not thinking like you.

John:
ENOUGH.  YOu're fired Ben Cherington.  FIRED, FIRED, FIRED.

Ben, Theo:
You can't fire me chief/former chief.  Without me you wouldn't have had the talent of...ah...err...ah...

John:
I rest my case.

THE END