Bobby Jenks fights Breast Cancer

Hello I'm Tina Derive and I'm SO delighted to be on 'Tomorrow...IS Today."  It's the talk show that talks about tomorrow's topics today...get it? 

Oh anyway, as you know, I'm Joe Derive's new wife.  We married last night in Los Vegas...I think...I don't remember much actually...but anyway...welcome Bobby Jenks:

Bobby Jenks
Glad to be here to fight Breast Cancer the leading cause of problems for women in the US.

Tina Derive:
Wow...that is so great of you.  You know you have a reputation as a womanizer and a total drunk bum but today you're making amends. We're all so very proud of you and what a handsome man you are!

Bobby Jenks (now sweating in his chair)
Oh...I like this show.

Tina  (laughing)
Bobby...you are such a flatterer and are so muscular.

Bobby:
Oh Tina I know the perfect evening for both of us...Anyway,  I'm here to show woman everywhere how to examine their breasts and provide free breast exams.  I'm completely qualified and will spend the time you need to ensure a cancer free breast.

Tina
Wow...that is so cool of you.  Did you go to school for that?

Bobby Jenks
Ah...ya...listen what is your IQ?

Tina
Oh...80 or so...I think but I don't remember too much...ha.ha..so can you go over the techniques you use to examine a breast...because I like do them in the shower.

Bobby Jenks
Well...ah...sorry starting to sweat here...hot studio...anyway the important part is to examine every part of the breast...did you say shower?

Tina
Every week!!!

Bobby
You take a shower once a week???

Tina (laughing hard)
No silly I examine my breasts once a week...I take a shower twice a week.  I call it Tuesday is shower and Friday is flower.  That's how I remember to shower twice a week.  Tuesday and Friday...like everyone else.  You're so silly.

Bobby Jenks
You weren't lying about your IQ were you?

Tina
Oh my you are SO funny Bobby.  So anyway what do I do to make my breasts cancer free, do I stroke them, rub them...ah I like to rub soap on them to check for...oh you certainly crossed your legs fast...ha..ha...chair uncomfortable?

Bobby Jenks
Ya...bad chair...ah...so anyway I have a free breast cancer clinic in my home city that young woman...you know because older woman already know this stuff...

Tina
Oh OK...so what would be the age limit?

Bobby
Twenty five

Tina
What made you pick that age instead of say 40 or 50 where breast cancer rates are much higher?

Bobby
How did you know that?

Tina (laughing)
Oh...I have NO idea...but you didn't answer the question did you? I believe that's the logical fallacy of 'avoiding the question.'

Bobby:
You're IQ isn't 80 is it?


Tina (with an angry stare)
I have Bobby Jenks on the show and my desire to make him look like a total fool just demanded that I alter a fact or two...and you have no way of moving off that stage easily right now do you without even making a bigger fool of yourself.

Bobby (meekly)
No...

Tina
That's all for today's show.  Tomorrow we'll have former Red Sox pitcher Kason Gabbard who will try to convince us that his name really isn't Jason.

Kason:
It's KASON!!!!!!!!!