Julio Lugo's Dream of Domination

Tonight on 60 Minutes, you may have known him as the shortstop for the Boston Red Sox, but as Leslie Stalled reports, this neural specialist at John Hopkins says he put baseball away a long time ago and instead is focused on the world.”

(speaking in Chinese)

“I gave up baseball and decided to become someone that can change a world. I became a doctor, learned fifteen or languages, and became an ambassador to the world but that's when I'm not building bionic arms for the soldiers. I'm busy you know but it's worth it.”

Tonight meet Dr. Julio Lugo of John Hopkins...on 60 Minutes.

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His name is Julio Lugo. Dismissed by the Red Sox in July of 2009, Dr. Lugo who received his diploma while playing baseball, decided that it was time to stop playing the game of baseball altogether, faking his ineptitude and incompetence, and when released, began immediately running the neurology department at John Hopkins.

(speaking in Russian)

“I have a passion for medicine and that's why I didn't play well with the Red Sox. It was so hard getting my degree from John Hopkins, mastering fifteen languages and learning bionics to help out soldiers. Sometimes I wouldn't sleep at night. I pretended to be the idiot because I didn't want to show pretense to my fellow man. I am Lugo.”

John Hopkins welcomed Lugo who helped reinvent medicine. Witness Dr. John Rutherford of Hopkins.

“Lugo looked like an idiot on the field but when he performed the first frontal lobe transplant, we all took him seriously and we all respected his brilliance and frankly, when he did the operation while learning Celtic on his ipod...it just blew my mind.”

(speaking in Arabic)

“I simply want to help others out when I can. I was called Lugnuts and I kept that name because I'm the one that holds the wheels together! I am Lugo.”

Lugo really has taking his Boston salary and donating it to African children whom he performs brain transplants on once a year to help out the comatose. He's the only doctor in the world with the skill and intelligence to do it.
(speaking in French)

I perform the transplants not to show my technical experience or brilliance which I suppose I have in abundance, but to show the world that brain transplants are possible and can help out so many. Next year when I master spinal repairs is when I will accept my Nobel prize but the money goes to the Jimmy Fund. “

Ludo doesn't have long to wait. He already received a Nobel prize in medicine retroactively for his pioneering work in brain transplants and bionics. No longer are soldiers required to go home with no arms.

(Speaking in the alternating tongues of Italian and Portuguese)

I won't brag about my abilities or my techniques. I find the rewards enough and ask others to shy away from arrogance and pride. I am Lugo with a Dr. in front of my name.

Lugo says that life is good for him. Already he has fifteen homes but sold fourteen of them and gave the land to national parks. He speaks often to sell out crowds and praises the world for what it can accomplish.

(speaking in German)

With my language abilities I can aid others in understanding how we are one world and one people. I see a vision where the world can look to me to rule them with justice and fairness and if they so chose to worship me I will not stop them. I see world takeover and domination my next ambitious step but it will be some time before it bears fruition. In the meantime I am content to be who I am...for now!”

(speaking in Hebrew)

You know, you can know a hundred languages but in the end you are still a human...

(speaking in Klingon)

While war demands our resources....

(speaking in Vulcan)

It is peace and logic that demands our future.

It's hard not to feel intimidated around Dr. Lugo. His brilliance is unprecedented. Already he has solved the great grand unification theory and proved string theory...something that the greatest minds in physics failed to do.

(speaking in Danish)

I find myself befuddled sometimes at how simple the answers are and how unchallenged the work is but in the end...

A sigh.

(speaking Bosanski)

In the end the work must be done and I must do it.

Lugo is not without pride. He has one wife who recently died after being run over by a hail bailer on his 5 billion acre farm in Montana and the memory still haunts him.

(speaking Kongo)

The pain in my heart still breaths guilt into my soul. I cannot go a day without seeing my wife chewed up from the hail bailer. While being married to Jennifer Lopez and Joan Rivers and Rosanne can offer comfort and joy, I still live with her memory inside my heart.

Lugo, who is working on the new health care plan says that America needs to look forward and not look back at its faults. Instead America must look to him for answers especially after installing his nuclear powered laser satellite capable of killing ten million in one shot.

(speaking Polish)

I speak as a simple man with a simple idea. Look to me for your answers and I will give them to you but do not see me as a God. I am a man like yourself. Only if I take over this world can you call me a God and I will not do that...yet.

(speaking Chinese)

I do not pretend to know that the gifts I have been given give me great pride...

(speaking Japanese)

But I do not bolster my own gifts

(using American Sign Language and speaking Hindu)

But I am here for you and you and you. I am here for all of you. I am Dr. Lugo, a simple man on a mission to manage the world under my vision.

(speaking Lojban while playing the violin and doing a tap dancing routine)

I have many talents and intend to use them for the benefit of mankind

(speaking Pakistani while playing the piano and writing an equation on paper between notes)

For if you cannot help man and run a world dictatorship that still promises StarBucks...what is the point of your life?

For now we leave Lugo to his destiny praying that it is not ours. I'm Leslie stall

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