Mr. Obvious Offers Answers

It was a subdued and quiet exchange of ideas that filtered through the musty room of the Texas clubhouse. The Sox, who had lost the last four games were at a panic situation as three droll figures sat around Theo Epstein's desk. A sigh opened the meeting as Tito Francona, Mr. Obvious, spoke.
“It appears that our strategy of allowing an average of four runs per game while our hitting continues to excel at one to two runs per game has a flaw in its reasoning. I suggest we change or perhaps reverse this strategy.”
“We must get Julio Lugo back, “snapped Theo. “We should trade Jacobe Ellsbury and Clay Buckholz for him. He will fix problem!”
The grinning smile only sent chills down Joe Madden's face.
“Ah...ya...but we're struggling.”
“You're right, “said Theo. “We should get Manny Ramirez back. I suggest we give away the starting lineup of the team and our entire Pawtucket Red Sox club. That will fix things. Manny can hit!”
“That is obvious but the problem is that...”
“No, that is a bad idea, “retorted Theo upon further reflection. “We should get Joba Chamberlane from the Yankees. We will give the Yankees our entire pitching staff.”
“My head, “remarked Joe Madden.
“My stomach, “snapped Tito.
“My brilliance, “smiled Theo epstein.
A pause.
“I suggest we start winning games instead of losing them, “said Theo Epstein. “That is something we can do without giving away half the team and get Julio Lugo back!”
“What is your obsession with Julio Lugo, “snapped Tito!
“Julio Lugo was a sparkplug and we spent many a quality evenings together...”
“That's more than I want to know, “said a desperate Tito. “That is obvious!”
A pause.
“Let's get Frank Catalanotta. He needs a job and together with Julio Lugo with a combined OBP of 109 he's sure to light fires in the clubhouse!”
Tito said, “He will light fires all right but I sense burning them at the stake will not help out the team's morale nor their murder records!”
A pause.
“How about Tony Pena Jr., Julio Lugo and Frank Catalanotta for Pedroia and Youk! I really like that and we can get Jason Gabbard in there!”
“It's Kason!”
A long pause. Theo looked around and said, “how does he do that?”
Tito said, “that is obvious that Jason...!”
“It's Kason...how can you be so dumb!”
A pause.
“I think this meeting is over. We have to figure out why Jason's keeps claiming his name is Kason. If we cannot figure that out, we cannot figure out our team's problems!”
“It's Kason and you're right!”
A pause.
“That is obvious!”