Mr. Obvious RETURNS!!!!

Mr. Obvious RETURNS!!!!

Terry Francona sat down in a clubhouse meeting with Theo Epstein discussing the rest of the year. It was obvious he was discussing players since he was meeting with Theo and Tito was already drunk. He needed to be.

He sat down in the office as Tito walked in and smiled.

“I think Julio Lugo needs an extension on his contract. Why don't you play him more? “ said a jovial almost robotic like tone in Theo's voice.

“I think it is obvious why considering he's making whopping errors and complains a lot. He does not care about anyone but himself!”

A pause.

“You are right. Let's trade off dynamic Brad Penny and get Eric Gagne. He is good!”

A sigh.

“You are obviously sniffing glue again Theo. I thought we talked about that!”

“I like Julio Lugo...I will extend his contract!”

Tito starting hitting his head against the desk.

“Let's make J.D. Drew a catcher. He will do much better than Jason Varitek!”

“I can't hit my head any harder but a right fielder with hardly any ability to stay healthy is not an obvious choice!'

“You are right. Let's take Jacobe Ellsbury and Mike Lowell and Jonathan Papelbon and get Wang! Then we can give an extension to Julio Lugo! That is smart!”

Tito nodded.

“Then again, how about trading Mike Lowell, Jacobe Ellsbury and Kevin Youkilis for Tony Pena Jr...and then we can give an extension to Julio Lugo. I like Julio Lugo. Can we get rid of Nick Green. ”

Tito nodded.

“I think it is a bad idea...”

“I know...let's get rid of Mike Lowell and get Doug Mirabelli back. Doug will play great third base. That is worth at least ten million dollars a year for five years. “

“I think...”

'...we need to give Julio Lugo an extension on his contract. He should be captain of the team. He can also be a catcher as well. I think I should fire you and make Julio Lugo manager as well. I like Julio Lugo.!”

“I think...”

“We should get rid of deadwood. Get rid of Dustin Pedroia and Jacobe Ellsbury and Papelbon and get us Julian Taravaz. I like Julian Taravaz. Let's pay him 25 million a year as well and then give an extension to Julio Lugo. I like Julio Lugo.”

“Can we please stop talking about Julio Lugo!”

A pause.

“OK good because I already signed the deal. He is signed till 2024 at fifteen million a year. I also bought the contract of Gagne and let Papelbon go to the Yankees. I am smart!”

“That is a disaster.”

“Don't worry Tito. David Ortiz is now our catcher anyway.”

Tito got up.

“Well...have a good day!”

“You too and enjoy Julio Lugo because I signed him till 2024!”