Bobby Valentine's Endless apologies

Hi, Joe Derive.

Have you seen a pattern from Bobby Valentine this year?  I think so.

Step 1:
Bobby Valentine sets up and flames the public with some acerbic comment and then one day later apologizes.  After a while, it gets tiring.  Let's look at some of our favorites:



Josh Beckett...in May



Bobby:
Beckett takes a thousand years between pitches.  What kind of attitude is this?

Josh Beckett:
Bobby, would it be all right if we talk to each other for a second or two?

Bobby:
Do we have to?

Josh:
It's OK Bobby, I just want to thank you for those nice comments.

Bobby:
Oh, OK!

After Beckett 'talked' to Bobby, Bobby came in a few minutes later with a black eye and said this:

Bobby:
Beckett's strategy is amazing.  Ah...what I meant to say was that his strategy throws off hitters and makes him a superstar.   Anybody have an ice pack?

Kevin Youkilis in May

Bobby:
Kevin doesn't have the energy and passion for this game.  It's off and until its on he really is gonna struggle.

Kevin:
Ah Bobby, I have no idea what you just said. Can you come here and say it straight to my face so we can better understand each other.  I feel its better for us as a team.  You know, no hard feelings of course.

Bobby:
OK, that sounds fine.

After the two talked for a few minutes, Bobby walked back with his head sagging to the floor.

Bobby:
What I meant to say was that Kevin has TONS of energy and I have NO idea how the media somehow contorted my words.   Stupid liberal media!

John Lackey in June

Bobby:
John Lackey's name is appropriate. He's a total #$#$#.

John:
Hey Bobby, can we talk a second.  I have a question for you.

Bobby:
Oh #$#$

John Lackey;
It's no big deal, Josh and I want to help you understand something about atomic energy fields.

Bobby:
OK.


Bobby came back in, torn shirt, scratched up and said this:

Bobby:
John's intensity is a great example for all of us.  I love John and Josh Beckett.

Dustin Pedroia in July

Bobby:
Dustin is a great player but he's his own worst enemy.  He needs to rest and heal from an injury.

Dustin.
Bobby, it's that time again.  You know!

Bobby:
OK Dustin...I'll come back there but please not my wrist.  I'm tired of it getting broken.

Dustin:
No prob Bobby.  We have lots of bones we can break.

Bobby returned a few minutes later hobbling and cradling his arm. 

Bobby:
Dustin playing through an injury is his finest attribute.  I love Dustin because I now know what its like to play through an injury...or two.

Things were quiet in August but it came up again in September.

Bobby towards the team in September

Bobby:
This team is the worst in Red Sox history.  I have NO idea what the problem is.  My entire team is crap and they don't even give a damn.

(Entire team)
BOBBY!!!!

Bobby:
Somebody help me!

We watched Bobby being grabbed by the entire team.  The screams hurt my ears let me tell you.  I waited till the paramedics patched him up.  Bobby walked back in, well actually was rolled in on a wheel chair.  The team stood around him as he was wheeled in.

(The Team):
What Bobby would like to say, if he could was that this team is in charge and the manager is really just a figurehead.  We rule and we want to thank Bobby Valentine for allowing us to take out our aggressions.

I'm Joe Derive...