Chapter 3

Terry Francona is Mr. Obvious

Chapter 3 – Meet Mr. Repeat

This may be the funniest one I've written. I don't know why I decided to have Tim Wakefield repeat everything that was said to him but it was a great contract to Terry Francona's character and then adding Dustin Pedroia as Mr. Regret gave this piece a lot of life. This was inspired by Dustin's remarks about his home town.

-- Dave Fernandes

Terry Francona sat down at his desk. He knew he sat down at his desk because he wasn't standing up. He saw Tim walk towards his office and sit down. He knew that Tim was sitting at the desk because Tim was sitting at the desk.

"Tim...I just wanted to say that you pitched nine innings and gave up two runs and four hits. That will be all."

Tim nodded and said, "That will be all."

"Good, "said Terry, "because I was about to say that it was obvious. I won't say it because that would be redundant. "

Tim nodded and said, "ya that's redundant."

"Yes, "said Terry. "You repeat things which is why everyone called you a person who repeats things. That is obvious."

Tim said, "I do like to repeat things."

"That is obvious, "said Terry Francona.

Tim said, "Is there anything else you need me for. Is there anything else you need me for."

Terry said, "You are still here so that tells me that I need to say more to you."

Tim said, "is there anything else you need me for?"

Terry said, "You are repeating your statement. That is a characteristic of your behavior. I see that because you repeat yourself often. That is obvious."

Tim said, "I am repeating myself. That is obvious."

Terry said, "That is true because you have already said four times that you are repeating yourself. That is obvious because you repeated yourself four times."

"SHUT THE #$#$ UP, "shouted Dustin Pedroia who smashed the door down.

"Every single time you two get together it's a #@$#$ broken CD on repeat. I can't #$#$ take it anymore. It's like my hometown that needs to be burned to the ground."

"Oh, it's Dustin Pedroia, "said Terry who looked up and said, "I know it is because he says things he later regrets."

"It is Dustin Pedroia, "said Tim repeating what Terry said.

"Man...I'm sorry. That was rude of me wasn't it. I was bad."

Terry said, "Dustin is now apologizing because he did something he regretted."

"He did something he regretted, "repeated Tim.

"I hate it when you #$#$ repeat every#$#$ thing I say. Go to #$#$."

"You are going to regret that Dustin, "said Terry, "and I know that because you are already regretting it."

Dustin nodded and said, "I'm really sorry. That was bad of me."

"That was bad of him, "said Tim.

"That is obvious, "said Terry.

Dustin just rolled his eyes and left.

“I will go now, “said Terry.

“I will go now, “said Tim and Terry knew that ended the conversation because Tim left the room still repeating the phrase before Dustin threw the sink at him breaking his arm.

“Man...I really regret that.”

“That is obvious, “said Terry.

“That...is...ow...obvious, “repeated Tim.