Chapter 2

Terry Francona is Mr. Obvious
Chapter 2 – The Press Conference

This was written soon after the first one. I came up with the idea that perhaps it might be fun to have Terry in a press conference where things go into disaster mode. I soon discovered that it was harder to do than I imagined and have never written one in the press room after that.

-- Dave Fernandes

Terry walked into the press room after the game. He looked tired because he was tired because the team had lost and that made him tired but if the team had won he would not be tired. That is why he was tired. That was obvious.
“Mr. Francona, what could be the reasons for John Lester's performance.”

Terry smiled. Terry had to say something positive. John Lester would feel better if he said something positive. He had to think of something positive. That was something he had to do.

“AH....I think all our work on the pickoff move paid off. He's really shown the Oakland A's that you can't steal bases to win, you just have to hit every pitch that John throws at you instead for a home run. Yes, make the Oakland A's work for their train wreck win instead of giving it to them. We were thinking fifteen runs but the team only gave up eight. That's progress.“

The audience paused for a long moment while Terry scratched his head. He scratched his head because he realized he had said the wrong thing. He had said the wrong thing because he saw all their jaws fall downward. That was obvious.

“Mr. Francona, the Red Sox gave up eight runs and have lost just about every game they have played. What's it going to take to turn this team around?”

Terry wondered that as well. He wondered that because that is all he had been wondering. Of course if he knew the answer to that one he would not be losing. But he was losing so he knew he did not have the answer to that one. He also knew he wondered why the reporters were asking stupid question.

“Well, I spoke to the team before the game to not strike out and hit fly balls to center field. It is also helpful to score a run and we discussed what that was like since it's been a long time since that's happened. I also mentioned that pitching must ALWAYS pitch a no hitter so that we can score more runs than the other team or at least tie the game. I have also told them it is important not to strike out three times in a row when you have a runner on third and nobody out. I do not think these have helped the team because they told me they knew that. However, I knew they did not know that because they keep doing that. “

There was another long pause and Terry knew that because it became quiet and nobody said anything and he heard the fly buzz around the room. That is how he knew.

“Mr. Francona, what we mean is...what things are you going to change to have your team win.”
Terry sighed

“Ah...now I understand and I thank you for that question. That is a good question because it is a question that was not asked before. I know that because you asked me what I will do to turn this team around but then you asked me how I will make my team win. Wait...you have asked me the same question. I know that now. “

The reporters scratched their heads.
“Mr. Francona...your starting pitching is struggling. Why is that?”

Terry sighed and swatted the fly.

“Oh...I just remembered...I have to leave because I took an overdose of medication to get me through the game. I must go to hospital to get my stomach pumped. I rather enjoy that over a press conference...actually they are very similar experiences. That is obvious.“

Terry left the building and fell against the wall. The Oakland fans waved to him and thanked him for a great game. Terry waved back with grim understanding. It was a strange way of being loved. That is obvious.

“More of the same tomorrow right!”
Terry just walked away. It was going to be a long road trip.