Chapter 6

Terry Francona is Mr. Obvious

Chapter 6 - Mr. Obvious Meets Hard-Of-Hearing-Harry

I don't know where this idea came from...it just sounded funny the idea of playing up a situation like this. Whatever the reason, it's quite hysterical.

--- Dave Fernandes

Terry Francona sat down at the studio at the stage starring into the camera. He was tired. He crossed his legs and took a breath in. It smelled like air. He rolled back in the chair. He was warned not to take this interview. There were...problems. Terry did not care. That was...obvious.

“Sorry to keep you waiting. Harry will start the interview.”

“I knew he had not started it because he is not here to ask me questions. “

“What?”

“Ah...you must be deaf. I think it is great that Harry takes on the deaf, “said Terry.

“Put on these ear plugs...you may need them for HOH!”

Terry sighed and said, “What is HOH?, “asked Terry.

“Oh...you'll find out!”

Terry packed the plugs in his pocket ignoring the warning. Harry, the reporter from the Boston Globe, sat down and looked Terry in the eyes and said, “OK...let's get started. “

Terry nodded and looked at Harry.

“Mr. Francona what do you think are the great obstacles of overcoming the Yankees this weekend.”

“Well...I think the greatest one is pitching. We need to throw strikes...”

“What?”

“I said our guys need to throw strikes...”

“Your guys need to throw spikes. My God Terry...that's horrible.“

“It is obvious that HOH means Hard-Of-Hearing-Harry because your hearing is not working and I know that because you keep saying what and your name is Harry.”

“What?”

“I said it is obvious that you are Hard-Of-Hearing-Harry because your hearing is not working and I know that because you keep saying what!”

“What?”

“I said it is obvious that you are Hard-Of-Hearing-Harry because your hearing is not working and I know that because you keep saying what...AND PLEASE STOP SAYING WHAT!”

“What?”

Terry's face was boiling red.

“Terry...sorry. I guess my hearing aid is not working. I'll get my bigger one.”

Hard-Of-Hearing-Harry smiled and felt better by putting a hearing aid the size of a a chocolate bar outside of his ear.

“OK, again what is the biggest weakness you would say the team has right now?”

“I would say that we have a very strong team and...”

“What?”

Terry started to reach for his hair but found none. Hard-Of-Hearing Harry removed his hearing aid. He put one in his ear that required a head harness. He adjusted his hearing aid causing a piercing sound to be heard through the air.

“OK, Terry...how will Josh Beckett fair this weekend?”

“That hurts. Shut that blasted hearing aid off.”

“What?”

Terry cried and Hard-Of-Hearing Harry grabbed a hearing aid the size of a backpack and plugged it into his ears connecting it to two large speakers. Every sound Terry made sounded like an earthquake.

“OK. I think it works now”

Terry collapsed on the floor. He tried to find the ear plugs and then stuffed them in his ears. Even with that protection, the sound waves almost made him deaf.

“Terry...how is David Ortiz coming along. Do you think he will do well this year?”

Terry looked at him. He whispered, “Are you sure you can hear me now?”

“yes...”

A long pause

“What?

“I cannot do this interview. I know that because Hard-Of-Hearing-Harry is going to kill me. Help me!”

“I'm sorry my hearing aid is killing me. Let me use my extra large one!”

“NO, “screamed Terry but soon a large forklift brought in a hearing aid that was attached to an entire series of speakers. Hard Of Hearing Harry plugged in. Terry moved his shoulder and a booming sound hit the room cracking the camera's lenses and almost breaking his ribs from the blast of sound waves.

“Now I can hear!”

“What?” screamed Terry who felt his ear canal about to explode.

Harry sighed!
“Terry...how is Mike Braintree or whatever city he's named after doing?”

Terry rolled on the floor. The pain in his ears was making them burst. The rest of the crew seemed immune.

“Help me!”

“What?

“How in hell can you have a hearing aid the size of an SUV and still not hear me!”
“Terry...you seem upset. Is Mike Braintree dying?”

“NO HE IS NOT DYING AND HIS NAME IS LOWELL. LOWELL.”

Terry regretted that. The sound rippled through his body as if a hundred drums hit the room.

“He lives in Lowell?”
Terry tried to crawl away but every move created pain in his ears.

“This is a disaster.”

“What?'

Terry got up and said, “Shut that blasted hearing device off. I need the stage hand NOW!”

“I'm Sara. I'll help you out of here. Just tell me where you are!”

“What!”

“Just tell me where you are.”

Terry started to cry.

“Oh no...you can't see can you Sara.”

“What?”