Chapter 15

Terry Francona is Mr. Obvious

Chapter 15 – Lugo's Turkey

There is no question that Papelbon was celebrating. Three outs with three strikeouts and a day off lead to him roasting a turkey for the entire gang. Tito even purchased a fantastic hotel with a grill. He was ready to grill when Lugo came over.

“Want me to do that for ya?”

“Ah...” said Papelbon. “Are you sure that's a good idea.”

“Hey, “snapped Lugo. “I roast turkey better than I play shortstop.”

A long pause followed with a few nods from Papelbon.

“OK...well...much better.”

Papelbon, known for his short term memory nodded and said “OK because I have an interview.”

Papelbon nodded and walked away.

“Hey Lugo!”

“What?”

“Toss those rotten eggs and milk out will ya. They're quite spoiled and do a good job OK. The entire team's gonna eat that turkey!”

He left going back to bed to dream of greatness. Lugo instead starred at the turkey and said, “OK...let's see if we can figure this out...hey I can call Arnie! He always says he loves to cook for me!”

Lugo called Arnie right away, unfortunately not mentioning it was for the entire team.

“Arnie!”

“Lugo...my old friend...what can I do for you?”

“I have to roast a turkey for myself...how do I do that.”

A loud howling laugh followed by screams of joy followed before Arnie talked again to Lugo.

“Really...you need a recipe!”

“Ya...”

Lugo could almost swear he heard “thank the heavens”.

A pause.

“OK...first how long has the turkey been sitting out in the sun?”

“Oh...a few minutes but I have these eggs and milk that Papelbon said I could use. Is that OK?”

Lugo was so smart.

“Good...now crack some raw eggs and add it to the mixture. Make sure the eggs sit in the sun for at least half an hour...then...”

… LATER AT DINNER...

The entire team sat down and chowed on turkey and Papelbon, as gracious in defeat as he is in victory had to admit it was a great success. Lugo really knew how to cook. It tasted great.

“Lugo, “said Papelbon. “Forget what the entire team says about you. This is the best turkey ever. How did you do it? I mean everyone is going back for seconds and the egg stuffing is amazing. I'm sure the entire team will be thinking about this for weeks!”

Lugo who was oblivious to the situation took a few bites then felt sick to his stomach. He wasn't sure why.

LATER AT THE HOTEL

Tito sat alone in his room. His eyes immediately broke open as he felt waves of nausea sweep over his body. His head felt like someone was sticking needles right through his eye.

“AHHHHH...., “screamed Tito. “It is obvious...something is wrong.”

Sure enough a loud thump on his door came. Tito crawled on the floor moaning and aching inside.

“Help me, “screamed Jason Bay. “ah...something wrong...”

Tito finally opened the door. Jason's skin was pickled and pale.

“Oh my God Tito...I've...”

“I know, “snapped Tito.

David Ortiz was at the door starring at the crew before tossing his dinner on the floor. Everyone else soon followed. Tito felt the stench of rot in the air. From every room players were crawling on the floor and emptying the contents of their dinner.

“How is this possible? “ cried Tito.

Lugo walked out and ran to Tito.

“Oh man boss. Gee it wasn't the raw egg stuffing!”

Tito looked up with hate in his eyes.

“What do you mean...you're not sick.”

David Ortiz curled into a ball on the floor said, “big Papi going to break...ah...” and that was all that David could muster at the moment.

“I'm sorry boss, but when I tried the turkey I remembered it was made with stale milk, rotten eggs and motor oil along with anti-freeze and chards of broken glass. Gee...come to think of it...was Arnie trying to kill Lugo with that?”

Tito looked at Lugo.

“CALL 911...NOW”

“Why?”

Tito looked up with sweat pouring down his brow and said, “because...IT IS OBVIOUS !”