Fantasy Island

Fantasy Island

"Arnie and Greg from Ian's blog, suggested I write a piece about Javiar Lopez -- who just got released from the Red Sox and Julio Lugo. I took up the challenge. This piece is quite unusual. It's more of a drama with comedy and a lot of character interaction. I like the piece a lot but won't deny it's quite different than what I normally write. See for yourself. "

Javiar Lopez, in his neat white suit walked along the gangplank and sat down feeling the nail pierce his skin.

“LUGO” screamed Lopez.

Lugo ran forward spilling the nail gun sending nails flying everywhere. Lopez dove in the water in desperation hearing the spitting of nails strike the surface of the ocean. Only when the last nail did it's duty did Lopez look up.

“Sorry boss!”

Lopez pulled himself up feeling yet another nail pierce his skin.

“Lugo, you are without a doubt the most incompetent idiot I've ever met, but you get the billion dollar deal with the Red Sox while I'm dumped by the Sox after playing in the World Baseball Classic and having a few bat outings in the only job I could get -- Retard Island...”

“Fantasy Island boss!”

“Whatever, “snapped Lopez before another nail struck his leg. Lopez winced and pulled it out.

“I wasn't the best pitcher in the league but I held my own...but you who makes an error every game, fails to get a hit and looks like an idiot out there...”

'Hey, “snapped Lugo. “You keep talking to me like that I won't help you around here.”

“My first blessing of the day! “ screamed Lopez who sat down on a chair watching it crumble to the ground. Lugo, used the nail gun to repair the chair as nails flew everywhere killing birds and striking trees seemed oblivious to the moment.

“Think of it this way boss. When I play in the World Series and win...I'll be thinking of you!”

Lopez wanted to say something but had all he could do to avoid Lugo's nail gun.

“Forget it...it's not you. It's baseball. Either you play like a superstar at all times or you're kicked out. That's the Red Sox for you. No loyalty, no love. Look at what they did to Mike Lowell. What man plays harder than him...but he was expendable. It's like the yearly tradition...dump the loyal ones!”

Lugo said nothing tuning out Lopez's tirades.

“Don't you DARE!” shouted Lopez

“But boss...”

“No, “snapped Lopez. “There is no way I'm letting you handle a chainsaw!”

Lopez of course was referring to the time Lugo needed to do some tree trimming and turned it into the largest forest fire in the history of the island. How was that possible? Only Lugo can answer that question.

“But boss...I gotta cut up some firewood!”

Lopez grabbed the chainsaw from him and handed him a small knife.

“We had plenty of firewood...now try that!”

Lugo nodded and started sawing the wood with the Leatherman knife.

“It's not you. It's baseball. Cruelest sport in the world. One day you're respected and honored and the next...”

“You're playing right field...”

“Grrr, “growled Lopez who hated the incident where he ended up being a position man in right field against the Tampa Bay Devil Rays.

Lopez sat down again using a pillow he brought along. He starred into the breeze and the ocean waters glittering in the sunlight.

“I miss it. I miss the challenge and the tension. I miss hanging out with my teammates. I miss the fans and the crowds. I feel so...empty inside. “

Lopez just starred down at the water as Lugo flung pieces of pine at him.

“Lugo!”

“What!” said Lugo starring at him with splinters all over his face.

“Lugo...how can you cause damage with a pocket knife. That's not possible!”

Lugo said nothing but turned away and continued his journey.

“Oh...man...I feel so damn lonely. “

“You'll feel better when you see clients!, “smiled Lugo.

“Who are they?”

Lugo dropped his knife in the water stabbing a fish and walked towards Lopez. He kicked the nailgun aside as another spray of nails flew from the gun slaughtering several birds in the air.

“Doug Mirabelli wants to play the game one more time. He's selling Real Estate now in Michigan. Sounds like a good fantasy.”

“Don't we all want to play the game one more time, “ sighed Lopez.

“Then we have Scott Baio. He wants to star in a major motion picture again.”

“Oh great, “cried Lopez. “Loosers weekend are us!”

Lugo sat beside Lopez.

“Come on boss. They have dreams...they're trying to find them. Can't you?”
Lopez grabbed Lugo's neck and said, “I have a dream...killing you!”

Lugo smiled as Lopez looked away and starred again into the sun rising.

“Finally we have Jason Gabbard. He wants to pitch a no-hitter!”

“It's Kason, “screamed an echo in the wind.

Lopez looked up and said, “ya...Sox bought out his contract to leave him rot in the minors after burning him away for Eric...GagME!”

“Take it easy boss...don't be so bitter.”

Lopez leaned back against the pillow.

“I envy every damn player who makes it in the game and I pray that when their day comes it's not a day where your only companion is JULIO LUGO!!!! Dammit that's five nails in my leg!”

Lugo sighed and started pulling them out.

“Lugo...it's players like you that make me want to cut your head off and feed it to the sharks...but I can't. You're #$#$ nail gun took care of that!”

Lugo got up and said, “the plane! The plane!”

Lopez watched as the plane sailed away into the horizon and exploded.

'Well Lugo...looks like you've done it again!”

Lugo sighed and said, “gee...I didn't even touch the plane...mostly!”

Lopez got up and yawned.

“Well Lugo...you're unique. I'll give you that. As for me...I'm heading back to bed. Call me the next time you blow up a plane!”

“Gee Boss...I'm sorry...really I am!”

Lopez looked back and said, “It's OK Lugo. You can't possibly make me feel any worse than I feel right now!”

Lopez looked back almost snapping his own neck and said, “the Sox haven't given you an extension on your contract...have they?”

Lugo sighed and said, “no boss!”

Lopez sighed and said, “there is some small amount of justice in the world.”

Lugo smiled as the dock began to burn. Lopez didn't look back. He could already smell the heat from the fire.