Nightmare Series 9

The Return of Helen Keller

"I wrote this in the right mood. I studied a lot about Helen Keller so this is pretty accurate. Writing is to healing."

Terry Francona sat alone in a room. Blood pressure was exploding. He has just been thrown out of a game again the Twins. He didn't feel well. They lost in Toronto. Pressure was immense. Every day was a headache. David struggling, Tim couldn't hold the game, Dice-K was crumbling, Drew was struggling, everything was always pressure. His heart hurt. His head hurt. He rested his tired skull against the wooden desk and slept.

“Terry Francona...didn't we learn ANYTHING since we last spoke?”

He looked up. The office was a field of clover waving against the afternoon breeze. There she was standing erect and proud. Her name was Helen Keller and this was not the first time they had met.

Terry touched his hands and feet. It all felt so real.

“Not this again.”

She smiled and sat down next to him munching on a carrot. It was indeed Helen Keller, the Helen Keller from his last nightmare.

“You're killing yourself Terry. Don't you see that. This is just a stupid game. It's not your life. It's not who you are!”

Terry sighed looking up at the sky.

“You can't see a sky in a metro-dome. Gets to you but that's why I'm there. That's why I play this game...Helen...I love this game. I love it.”

She held his hand.

“Very unconvincing Tito. Let me tell you, this life...after death...it's not the same Terry. What you have now in many ways, is everything. “

“No it isn't! I want out, “ snapped Tito. “I want out.”

Helen held him tight.

“Cop out Tito.”

Tito sighed. Water filled his eyes.

“It's OK...”

“It's not OK, “snapped Tito. He rose up and kicked the clover.

“I can't fix David's hitting...I can't. I can't make Dice-K pitch and I can't please the...the fans who want everything from me. I can't. Get rid of Lugo, trade Dice-K, fire David, get this player and get that player...Helen...I can't be their God. I'm only a human being and I'm tired of the press and the strain and the road and the pressure. It's killing me!”

Tito fell down again rested against the field of clover. His chest began to hurt.

“So much easier to be a player. Oh...you have no idea how much easier it is...and I didn't get it, until I had to put up with this. Did you know, “said Tito facing Helen's face, “ that Jason Bay got death threats from the Boston fans for not playing last year so he could witness the birth of his daughter. These people have no understanding of humanity.”

Helen signed.

“Are you afraid you'll lose your humanity too?”
He didn't answer. He didn't want to answer.

“I always loved the water Tito, even when I was blind and deaf. I loved the salt air and the feel of water on my body. Annie was always good about that as was mom. Come on...”

“No, “snapped Tito but before he knew it he was sitting on the waters edge against the ocean.

“Tuscombia Alabama doesn't have an ocean Tito. You have to travel to it...but being dead does have its advantages.”

Tito rubbed his eyes.

“There was a reporter who once said..in 1975 I think, the Sox were always good...but never good enough and when they became...almost good enough...to be honest with you...”

Helen held her hand over his mouth.

“Never wish for things Tito. Try this, take a day off...a time to just recharge. You need a day when the media isn't talking about David Ortiz and the team isn't struggling and...”

Terry leaned back and said, “David Ortiz hitting again...that would be magnificent...”

“Until the next problem Tito. You're missing the point!”

Tito rested against the sand.

“Oh Helen...in 2007 everything just came together and 2008 was a complete mess and then we enter 2009...it was all supposed to be so perfect.”

She smiled and kissed his hand.

“There was a time I was in love with someone...a helper at the place. Oh I was so taken away with him and I desperately wanted to escape into that fantasy. He wanted to take me away and marry me. I met him later...up here...but as you may have guessed...that chemistry faded away. ”

Tito looked over raising his eyebrow.

“So I take it you broke it off.”

For the first time, Helen's lips pressed together.

“Well, to be honest, Annie and mom were furious when they found out...when I was alive that is...and I suppose they were right. I was deaf and blind...not the kind of thing a marriage invites so that ended that. Mom actually fired the man. I suppose I should be angry, but I owed that to Annie and mom. “

Tito sighed and starred at her frail face.

“Marriage and love were not something that was going to happen to either Annie or myself. Did you know Annie was married once to a professor – John Macy. They met while I attended Radcliffe but it wouldn't work. How could she be committed to two human beings? They separated and faded away with time. Helen Keller...the burden.“

Now she was the one in tears.

“You're no burden Helen.”

She rubbed his scalp. That nerve was struck hard with an anvil. She had a frail side.

“Nice try Tito but you can't have lost two of your senses and not be a burden.”

Tito sighed and said, “I'm afraid of death Helen...that's why I'm here.”

Helen chuckled. She sighed and rubbed her hair.

“Oh you're so obvious Tito. Can't you be a challenge to me for once.”

Helen got up and stretched.

“I suffered several strokes in 1961 that ended my public appearances and my fame. I became a recluse and yes there were the happiest times of my life. I read books.”

Tito laughed.

“Tito...don't you get it. Books were everything to me. You could just escape into the world of the hearing and seeing and forget about everything. Little Lord Fauntleroy. I must have read it three times. I read so much towards the end of my life. It was the closest I could get to feeling like a person who could see and hear and not be a burden. “

Tito let his feet fall into the sand. He felt the warm grains of golden yellow cover his skin.

“Never easy playing in Boston.”

Helen handed him a photo.

“Check it out Tito! They finally found it. The photo of me holding the doll given to me by the children at Perkins School for the Blind when I was eight years old. My oldest living photo. Wasn't I cute? Annie looked so serious. She never smiled. She always looked sad. This photo was was taken in Cape Cod. I loved Cape Cod. “

Helen put the photo back in her dress.

“Annie and her brother found themselves abandoned when Annie was just ten years old. Her alcoholic father was broke and dumped them off like so much garbage at relatives who then dumped them at the Tewksbury Almshouse – an insane asylum. Can you imagine living in that place of disease and sickness. She witnessed her own brother die in that miserable place of TB. Annie went through a living hell. She pleaded with someone to get an education and she that and a job at the Perkins Institute for the Blind and do you know what her first assignment was? “

Helen smiled.

“Did she ever overcome her demons, her anger...I don't know Tito. She never talked about it and I never asked. “

Helen paused wiping the tears off her face.

“Tito, we all have pain in our lives...it's how we handle it and how we process it that matters. We're all going to die...I can testify to that. And yes, you're time will come too but you are a strong man...or you wouldn't be in the game. ”

Tito looked at her and felt her face, her features.

“Thank you.”

She smiled and said, “I know you're afraid of dying Tito. I know that but this time is the best time of your life believe it or not. Every moment you're alive is an amazing moment. You will look back at this and miss it. “

Tito got up and said, “maybe I'll stay here for a while...if you don't mind.”

Helen sighed and said, 'I'll always be here for you Terry. That's what friends are for...even if they are deaf and blind!”

He smiled and leaned back against the sand.

“I'll be glad when we're off this road trip Helen.”

“Did you ever call your daughter?”

He sighed and said, “the machine was on. I didn't leave a message.”

She sighed and held his hand. She pulled out a book.

“Since we're here for a while...how about a book to read.”

He laughed and said, “Little Lord Fauntleroy right?”

She laughed and said, “forget it. I Robot by Issac Asimov...unlike that garbage movie of the same name. I love science fiction and I need a good laugh!”

She began reading to him and he felt more and more relaxed against the sand and against the pressure of the day.